My wife and I share a passion for sales. We don’t claim to be pros, we’re more like face-painted and foam-finger wielding fans. No, our pillows aren’t stuffed with expired coupons, our use of eBay isn’t like a government intelligence agency, and we’re not thrift shop tag-poppin’ junkies (yet), but if someone puts a BIG RED SALE SIGN over a pile of used fireworks, it’s possible we’d stop and assess our need for burnt up cardboard and tissue paper. 95% off, you say?

Kidding, of course. We’re totally capable of paying top dollar for things. Mostly because they’re things that are never on sale and we absolutely need them to stay alive. But it still counts, right? We don’t ALWAYS have bargains on the brain. Exhibit A: every single one of our Whole Foods receipts ever.

However, we are discount whisperers enough for us to be a bit snobby about any given deal (at least above the level of used-firework buying idiots), so we can certainly appreciate the hilarity of a price actually INCREASED for a sale. Priceless! Or rather, OVERpriceless!

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If only babies weren’t so darned lazy.

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