We can all agree that babies are obscenely cute and squooshy, like little peach-fuzzed plush dolls filled with mini marshmallows, warm unicorn burps and dreams come true.

It can be a lot easier to resist breathing than it is to resist squeezing and hugging and cuddling the little pudgy blobs of joy. It’s totally their fault.

It’s been written that theoretically babies and toddlers actually emanate a powerful electromagnetic field that attracts older human hands and lips and arms. See? I just wrote that. So it’s completely true that it’s been written before.

But, there IS something magnetic about them. Sure, this magnetism may result in an awkward moment that involves mall security because the person magnetized wasn’t related in any way to the wiggly-giggly, diaper-clad bag of squooshiness. It’s understandable, though. Few are immune to the adorableness they radiate mercilessly and indiscriminately at any poor bystander in their path. Parents, with the most exposure and without the restraining threat of law enforcement, don’t stand a crumb of a chance, so they can very easily find themselves compulsively using their offspring as a living squeak toy or cuddle pillow.

Don’t worry, though. Before you seek treatment or start en-crinkling yourself in tinfoil as protection, rest assured that their squoosh-hither radiation tends to decay and wear off around the teenaged years. Until then, squoosh away.

““

Follow us on Facebook. You can squoosh us there if you want.

Uneducational Instructional Diagrams
You might not be able to squoosh these, but you’ll be glad you tried.