Parenting can feel a little duplicitous sometimes. You tell your kids to get sleep, and then you don’t. You tell them to eat certain vegetables when you can’t stand them. You tell them there are no more cookies, but secretly you’ve hidden a stockpile for yourself so huge, the IRS is going to come knocking. There are times when this hypocrisy can feel a little strange. You’re a grown adult. You can do whatever you want. Or at least you should be able to.

So instead of hiding these things from my kids, I’ve decided to catalogue them here. In full view. Because I’m a grown-ass-man, dammit. There are some things I’ve earned the right to do, and they can’t stop me. Sort of.

My first item is something that seems simple enough but could get dangerous pretty quick. Check it out.

It’s called “Shooting the Tube” and you can do this in Utah. Who’s coming with me?