Kids Sucking at Blowing Out Birthday Candles (14 GIFs)

I’m not raining on the kids’ birthday cake candle parade at all (I love it), but let’s take a closer look at this tradition. It’s kind of strange, if you think about it. Toddlers/kids + sugar + fire? Haha!

On their earliest birthdays, before we present our little ones with the gloriously sweet, tantalizing treasure of CAKE! We set it on fire. “Just blow it out, kid who can barely keep drool in his mouth.”

Then, when they’re a little older, we tell them about WISHES. “Make a wish and blow out the candles like a lil’ firefighting kazoo!” Okay, let’s leave out the fact that even with the make-believe some parents teach their kids for holidays and tooth loss, this is a bit mystically deceptive.

Things get even more complicated when parents add that you have to keep your wish a SECRET and you MUST blow out ALL the candles in ONE breath or it WON’T come true. Okaaaaaay. Am I the only one who had a bit of a panic attack as a kid about ruining the chances of my wish if my lungs couldn’t Big Bad Wolf those flaming wax piggies into another dimension? It’s a little odd, right? When did breath-based fire extinguishing become so important?

Anyway, there are a bunch of challenges and hazards a kid faces trying to blow their birthday wishes true. Let’s have a look and laugh. Or cringe.