Super “Helpful” Tips for Your Wife’s First Sonogram
Congratulations! You’re having a baby! Actually, to be technical about it, your wife is having a baby. Other than going to prenatal classes, late-night emergency food craving grocery runs, and letting her crush your hand into a box of broken crayons during labor, comparatively, you’re just along for the ride. That doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive in other ways.
One of the hallmark times a would-be father can share in the miracle of life is during the first sonogram, so it’s important to really show up strong. Below are a few helpful tips to make the most out of the experience for your wife, your unborn child, and you.
Keep it Light
Your soon-to-be-baby’s first sonogram is typically a wonderful experience that you’ll cherish for the rest of your life. As magical as the event can be, however, it’s often filled with anxiety.
This is the first time you’ll be hearing your child’s heartbeat and, until that happens, the mood can be a little tense. Best to lighten things up with a little humor. Try an icebreaker like “I didn’t think it was going to be that kind of a get-together” when the tech rubs lube over your wife’s belly, or if you can see the baby, “looks we’re having a xerox copy of a root vegetable!”
You can even get physical and make a balloon sculpture of the fetus! See what happens when you fart on the sonogram wand, it’s bound to be entertaining!
The jokes you make are sure to be appreciated by all in attendance. And if not, grab the transducer probe (the “wand”), tap it like a standup comedian and ask,”Is this thing on?”
Be Useful
Everyone could use a little help from time to time, and doctors and sonogram techs are no different. Sure, you could sit back and simply observe this special moment, but fatherhood isn’t a spectator sport. Good dads are DOERS! So get in there, champ!
You can try giving the sonogram technician a shoulder rub to help loosen them up for the task. Gently dab their forehead and whisper soft words of encouragement in their ear while they try to locate and listen for your soon-to-be bundle of joy.
Feel free to fiddle with the dials and knobs on the ultrasound machine so they’re operating at peak performance. Check the outlets and wires to make sure they’re organized to your satisfaction, get to work if they are not.
If your instrument and wiring adjustments have slowed the process down, a motivating comment like “are you sure you’re using that thing right?” or “think you could break the world record for fastest sonogram, eh eh?” might do wonders for speeding the process along.
Provide Helpful Instructions
The eager anticipation can make waiting to see your baby for the first time seem like an eternity in slow-mo, on sleeping pills.
Searching the dark, murky depths of the womb can be difficult. You can ask to hold the sonogram wand to demonstrate potential improvements in their angle and motions. Or simply ask to have a go at it yourself!
You can also suggest a search pattern like a good game of Battleship, to zero in on your little fetal submarine. Draw a grid on her bulging bump (use a sharpie so the belly lube doesn’t smear it). Then shout your commands, “Scan sector B-5!”
If that fails and your baby still remains undiscovered, or you’re asked to leave the room, let her know that it’s probably not because she’s going to be a bad parent. You could also maybe mention that at the 6-8 week mark the baby is so tiny it’d likely lose a fight with a tadpole.
Get Involved!
This is your time to show your deep investment as a father! She’s bound to appreciate all of your active interest in the process.
Once you’ve got a visual on the elusive jelly bean, you can contribute to the process by bringing a tape measure to double-check the measurements the tech is taking down. Bring your own clipboard, medical professionals will love that.
When they whip out the doppler and you hear your love nugget’s heartbeat, start beatboxing some wicked dubstep along with the fast, surging techno “whoosh whooshing” sound. Bring some glowsticks to add to the good time.
Be curious and ask questions like, “Is that heart rate normal? Just checking because it seems really fast,” or, “How long before we can see what kind of junk it has?”
You can really join in the jamboree by taking off your shirt and asking to be sonogrammed yourself to see how that burrito you had for breakfast is doing. Heck! Give the technician and turn and compare food babies!
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Your wife’s first sonogram can be fraught with emotional peaks and valleys, but never fear! With the right attitude and these helpful tips you’ll give your wife an experience she will remember and remind you of for the rest of your life.
