It’s no secret that, like, we’re one of the most helpful and totally masterful websites when it comes to non-heinous parenting. People constantly come up to Andy and I begging for the epic secrets to being the raddest dads of all time. We usually just keep walking with our sunglasses on and earbuds in. Dudes, we charge massive cash for that kind of stuff.

But with all the tubular parenting philosophy crazes, we’ve realized there just aren’t enough minutes on my Swatch to read all of the books, blogs and studies. Forget actual parenting, reading about it is where it’s at! In an effort to further cash in on this killer business enterprise, I wanted to give you some super easy tips today from my perfect childhood here in California.

Bros, there are no better qualified gurus on parenting than these two men. Bill and Ted achieved world peace while rocking out and became the most quoted personalities of our time. And they also offered some key insights on parenting, if you just listen. So, LISTEN UP because the Wyld Stallyns are here to help you be a better parent.

1. Be Excellent to Each Other!

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In the post-modern future of Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted (Theodore) Logan, there are a handful of simple tenets to being awesome. The first, and seemingly most important, is the one about dealing with others. I will admit I’ve been THIS CLOSE to saying these words to my four year-old son. And why not? It’s the most simplified version of the Golden Rule that we have. And simple is good, these days.

2. Party On, Dudes!

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Parenting is the #WorldsToughestJob, right? It’s slave labor and it’s painful and it sucks. Or does it? B & T’s simple decree is about having fun, letting some stuff slide and maximizing time spent enjoying the role you’ve been given/produced. Try that on for size, Holmes.

3. Sometimes, Weird Shit Happens

Perez Hilton

Parenting is a marriage between the blissful and the bizarre. The more we embrace the journey, and all of its inane, petty, and perpetual oddness, the better prepared we are to create fun bizarreness. After all, it isn’t about eliminating the weird from our lives, but making it worthwhile weirdness. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

4. Parenting Can Be An Existential Crisis

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Seeing someone who will eventually survive you is the craziest sensation. You have to plan the future so well that it succeeds well after you’re gone. Thus, you’re confronted with beginnings and endings, like, all the time… dudes. And you’re confronted with your dudical childhoods because someone else’s is completely and totally right there in front of you.

5. Parenting Can Be An Adventure

Perez Hilton

It’s not all beers and loud music (or is it?), but parenting is one of those excellent adventures with some seriously colorful characters. You get to travel through time, learn about some new stuff and travel to foreign lands, at least mentally. It’s too bad we don’t automatically get a “Rufus” like our two favorite dudes did.

“I have a feeling we are about to embark upon a most unprecedented expedition.”

Indeed, it is.