Listen, no one is perfect, but we all want to do better as parents. Today, I want to give some advice, which while rare for HTBAD as a general rule, is something that becomes necessary following major life events, elections, global infections, and any general pants-shitting news.

I want to give you five areas to focus on so you don’t suck the big one when it comes to being a dad. Mileage may vary and depending on the circumstances there may be additions or subtractions from this list. This is a primer, a quick start that I could spend eons writing.

1. Develop A Sense Of Humor

If you don’t have one, build one. If you can’t develop one, rent one by watching comedy greats on Netflix or whatever. Steal from the greats and figure out what it means to make someone laugh, to feel better. Kids need some entertainment every now and then. But more importantly it can make YOU feel good in tougher times.

2. Provide For Your Kids

Whether you’re an at-home dad, a sugar dad, a work at work dad or anything in between — give your kids experiences, opportunities and resources wherever you can that will build them into self-starting, empathetic, understanding, capable people who recognize the joy of fart jokes.

3. Don’t Act Like A Phony

Yes, that kid in “Catcher in the Rye” was correct. Phonies blow. So why do that with your kids? Pretending to be someone you aren’t is an exercise in futility and insanity. You have lessons to teach and acting like “best dad ever” instead of a person is a waste of time. Your child needs a human being who lives on the same planet they do.

4. Know When To Hold ‘Em

Yes, I just used a poker reference, but this stuff is high stakes. OH GOD I CAN’T STOP USING POKER METAPHORS. You see, showing your kids physical affection isn’t weak, inappropriate or a bluff (CAN’T HELP IT). In fact, it’s a physical way of showing you care and that they are worthy of your love. Hugs, snuggles — it’s a bet (UGH) on the future because there are studies showing that physical contact makes these bonds even closer and more real to them.

5. Learn Yourself Some Things

If you don’t continue to learn, you won’t be able to keep up with evolving global thought let alone model the act of vacuuming up knowledge. Learning also gives you a chance to answer a few of those “Why is….” questions with some veracity behind your responses. It’s cool to know stuff. And there’s cool stuff to know out there.

Anyway, those are a few places to start. What would you add? Where would you tell people to start? Post your thoughts in the comments, and share this with the world so that they could suck a little less. Maybe together, we can all suck a little less.