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vagina
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Vote for Vagina
Warning: I use the words “penis” and “vagina” great deal in this post. If those words offend or concern, you should not have (or should never have had) children because honestly you’re too immature for them. For years, we’ve heard about “penis envy” and “penis aggression” and “penis parties” from people with, um, penises. Well, […]
History’s Freakiest Baby Products
Sometimes we parents will come across ads or informercials for baby and kid-related products that seem silly or kinda useless. If we look back in time, though, when “men were men and women were women,” and both apparently didn’t seem overly concerned with infant or child safety, we can behold some very weird or outstandingly […]
Baby Shower Cake GROSS-O-METER CHALLENGE!
I present to you a challenge here. Here’s the deal. People throw baby showers, often with “special” cakes for the occasion. And for whateeeeeever reason””silliness gone wildly wrong or some purely insane cruelty””people have cakes made that… could act as terminal birth control for any non-pregnant attendee, and could definitely put the pregnant guest of […]
Hilarious Fake Notes from Kids
As soon as kids are able to string spoken words into tangled sentences, it seems like they’re also already telling tall tales. “Not me!” “I reawwy washeded my hands.” “I no have to go potty!” HAH! Lies. A lot of kids are to fibs what Willy Wonka is to chocolate. Aaaaaaand then the cute little […]
My Wife Just Said… #197
[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]
My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167
Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.” Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???” Wife: “There’s a… hole.” Son: “In you butt?” Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.” Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]
Sex Terms Can Be a Total Turnoff
I’ve covered how childbirth terms can make you want to puke (view), and how pregnancy terms can make you hide under a tarp (view), but let’s go even earlier, to the very start. The very act that results in babies. Sex. Words have a depth that goes beyond their dictionary definitions. Compare telling a man […]
Pregnancy Terms Can Make You Hide Under a Tarp
Most medical terms sound hyper-enlightened and mystifying, but are actually based on Latin and Greek words that just meant… the thing that they referred to. What woman is going to let a “student of women” near their vagina, let alone PAY them for it? But that’s what “gynecologist” meant literally in Greek. If you look […]
Becoming a Dude-la (Male Doula)
For those of you who’ve been following our parenting journey since the beginning of this fine establishment, you all know that our previous birth story was fast and furious. Finn made his entrance into this world in under four hours and our doula was a total no-show. So, I’d like to give you five reasons […]
Ruining Baby Names, One Suggestion at a Time
“Hey!!! How about [name that you will now probably not choose because I just suggested it].” When you start telling people you’re having a baby, certain things are going to inevitably happen. It’s like a chain reaction that is as certain and frothy as dropping a sleeve of Mentos headlong into a bottle of Diet […]
