What It’s Like Being A Parent: Part Two
So, we covered what it’s like being a parent and having to answer UMPTEENFAFILLION questions, last time. But this time, let’s talk about privacy. Privacy, as you knew it parents and non-parents, becomes extinct when you have children. Or at least the version of it that used to be employed. There is no such thing […]
Pain
Pain. It can remind us we’re alive. And it can also steal a little bit of that aliveness away. I’m sitting, right now, in a surgery wing and my infant son is about to go under the knife. Something we thought would go away has only gotten worse. It’s time to confront it. And hopefully, […]
My Kid Just Said… #50
“You know what I would do if I had The Force? Tickle YOU for once.” -Finn (2014, 4.5 years old) We started watching Episode IV: A New Hope of Star Wars awesomeness. Finn is in. All the way. He did way better than I even anticipated. After we finished our first round, he said this […]
Sunrise or Sunset?
Parents, there will be days when you may misremember which day it is. You will put your socks on backwards and wear clothing inside-out, from rise to fall. You will click your car key at your front door, half-expecting it to open before you. You will forget your children’s names, your spouse’s name and maybe […]
What It’s Like Being a Parent: Part One
My non-parent friends often ask me what it’s like to have children. I usually answer with something sarcastic or sentimental. Or both, just to confuse them. Because screw them and their “free will.” But I’ve decided it’s time I let them in on my life as a dad. In this continuing series, I will journey […]
9 Things I’d Rather Do Than Hang Out with a Teething Baby
I love my infant son, Arden. Very much. He’s such a fun guy already and we are creating an amazing little bond that grows each day. I love him and his smiles and coos and little poops. He’s such a great baby. But teething can go f*ck itself. It tests everything I have. It turns […]
Storming the Beaches
Another installment from my Instagram account, @CharlieCapen where I capture thoughts, and release them back into the ether of Instagram. But mainly, it’s a journal for my two boys. Typos are free of charge. “Finn: Today we woke at 6:30am and drove to the beach to see what answers we could find. Just the two […]
For Parents: How To Make a SexTape
In this very modern internet age, we find ourselves compelled to write headlines and dive headlong into topics we mightn’t have penetrated previously. Today, I am THAT guy. I’m going to reveal something about myself you probably you would never have guessed, something so crude it probably never crossed your mind: I have never made […]
My Kid Just Said… #48
“We should rename Arden. His new name should be Squeaky Cheeks.” -Finn (2014, 4.5 years old) Coming up with Arden’s name was pretty difficult. I think choosing boys’ names is actually harder than choosing a girl’s for some reason. Not sure why exactly, but there’s so much history with a boy’s name for me. I […]
This 5-Year-Old Roars After Cancer
Something I’ve never told people before… I’ve always wanted to be a pop star. Big time. Like Justin Bieber without all the doucheness. Usher without any of the dance moves. Justin Timberlake without the… um… something. There are so few pop stars to look up to these days and it’s hard to get inspired to […]
