My Kid Just Said… #43
“I like Arden more than Lightning McQueen. And the entire universe.” -Finn (2014, 4 years old) These two are ridiculous. Can you even take it? I’ve told everyone who’s asked that I knew I would have two brothers if we had two kids. Whether it’s karmic or just the luck of the draw, it […]
Maximumble: Is this your punishment or mine?
This comic has me wondering if its creator, Chris Hallbeck, is pretty much a psychic or some kind of wise man. I know I’ve leveled privilege-removing threats at my kids and been mentally praying to myself that it works, because if it doesn’t… ugh. So much more work. It’s like a bluff almost. When […]
The Evolutionary Progress of Kids’ Games
Listen, I’m not one of those old men sitting in his boxers on the porch spraying people with a hose as they walk all over his lawn. Okay, fine. I am, but with that completely aside, are kids today too coddled and catered to? I think the answer is “yes” and now I have unequivocal […]
My Son Is a Loser
We sit bobbing in the pool like pale apples waiting to be plucked. My son is crying into his flotation device and I am expectantly staring at him. This is not going as well as I’d hoped. “This game is boring and dumb. I hate it.” He’s over it. I’m treading water, literally and figuratively, […]
My Kid Just Said… #41
“I was dreaming of crushing.” -Finn (2013, 4 years old) Earthquake damage in our house. The earthquake had just hit on Monday morning and I was on the other side of our house. I ran to my son’s room in about two strides. He was fine, and Avara made it to the room too. […]
9 Parenting Tips from the Movie ‘Zombieland’
Yes. It’s time for another helpful parenting lesson using zombie culture. In case you didn’t learn the first time, the second time or every other time, this one should teach you something. I guess. I was a big fan of “Zombieland” when it came out. There was something sort of inspiring about it, though I […]
Your Turn: Worst School Photos!
None of us are immune. One day, it will happen for your kids. Or has happened to us. For some of us, that day will happen… many times. Over and over. THE BAD SCHOOL PHOTO. My son came home from school with an envelope this week and inside were his school portraits. Witness the magic: […]
A Letter From My Dead Father
I often ask myself why I write here. Who is this for? Do I think it’s even worth reading? This kind of writing can feel like the most self-centered exercise ever undertaken and I surely don’t post enough cat pictures or gossip to compel people to return. But today’s worth it. The reason, I’ve found […]
Maximumble: Sex Ed Astronomy
FROM THE ARTIST, CHRIS HALLBECK: “I remember my mom telling me “The mommy and daddy kiss and he has a little squirt gun that shoots into her body.” I imagined a green plastic squirt gun in the back of his throat that squirted into her mouth and then went down to her belly where […]
