“MY KID JUST SAID…”
The things kids can say are crazy, cute, brilliant or D) all of the above. So how could we resist sharing the majesty!
My Kid Just Said… #18
“NO, DADDY! You NOT take a picture of me aaaaaany more!” -Lucas (2013, 3.5 years old) There is camera shyness, and then there’s ohpleasestopit-ness about being photographed or videoed. Some of us can really can be obnoxious Mama- and Papa-razzi with our kids. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with occasionally staging things so a […]
My Kid Just Said… #16
“If I twist my penis, I can fwy up in da sky.” -Lucas (3 years old) Get to da choppah? My first response to this statement was… a lot of silence, followed by a lot of hrghnck (the strangled sound of poorly-restrained uncontrollable laughter). I was reminded of bits in cartoons where characters used their […]
My Kid Just Said… #14
[Christmas morning] “Whu’s dat? A pwesent? Fo MEEE??? Whu’s in it?” [1 minute later] “I can’t open da wapping. It keeps wipping. Oh WOOK! TWAINS!!!” [.0001 seconds later] “I wead da ‘stwuctions and you buiwd it, okay, Daddy?” [100 minutes or so later] “It’s not wook wight, Daddy. Hewe ya go. You can have da […]
My Kid Just Interrupted… #13
[Talking at dinner, our 3yo interrupts] Lucas: “Mouskerdee MOUSKERDOOOOOO!!!” Lizzie: “Lucas, we’re talki””” Lucas: “Wus DAT!?!” Me: “It’s turkey, man. C’mon, we’re talkin””” Lucas: “I do NOT wike it!” Lizzie: “Yes, it’s a different kind, but it’s still turk””” Lucas: “I pooping in my underwear.” Lizzie: “Come here, let me check.” [She pulls open his […]
My Kid Just Said… #11
[hands behind back ] “I do NOT hab poop on my fingews.” -Lucas (2012, 3 years old) “Whuchoo got behind your back there?” (sniff) “Uhhh… What’s that smell?” There are some lies you hear that instantly tell you the truth. When someone says they don’t mean to sound a certain way or offend, you know […]
My Kid Just Said… #10
[Watching Jurassic Park] “Why do da dinosaurs make da jelly come out of da man?” -Cody (2002, 4 years old) In this case, of course, “jelly” refers to the fountain of spurting blood and by “man” he’s referring to the guy who was just bitten in half. Okay. So… sometimes you make mistakes as a […]
My Kid Just Said… #7
[Sigh] “I feel so relaxed. Like I just peed.” [Everyone bursts out laughing] “What!?! It makes you feel relaxed!” -Max (2010, 10 years old) Relaxation Level: Max. We all voiced our agreement by laughing even harder. He was right! It’s true. It’s not something you talk about over tea and crumpets. Or ever really. Still, […]
My Kid Just Said… #6
[Lucas (3yo) looking at a picture of himself] “Da’s Wucas!” Me: “No, you’re supposed to say ‘that’s me.’” [long pause accompanied by scrunchy nose of disapproval] “No, Daddy! It not yooOooOooOU! It WUCAS!” -Lucas Dad, you sound like you think you know what you’re talking about, but I do not think that you do. I […]
My Kid Just Said… #5
[Seeing his mother dying her hair] “Mommy… does you have poop on you head?” -Lucas (2012, 2 years old) Uhhhhhhh… To a kid: if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck. So if it looks like poop… Yeah, Lizzie was wearing a plastic cap […]
Muhver Day: My Kid Just Said… #4
“Say Happy Muhver Day!” -Lucas (2012, almost 3 years old) Being literal is not the same as being literate, but it’s funny. Facepalm. He repeated exactly what I just whispered to him. His smile was sooooo big tho! So was hers. Precious. Even though he chewed it up a bit, I was proud he got […]
