“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”
You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to someone.
My Wife Just Said… #141
“My hands are fah-reeeeezing! Oh wow. Your balls are so warm!!! Don’t jump away! Oh please let me warm my hands on your balls?” -Elizabeth Um. Okay so yeah… WOW! That’ll take you from tired to light-speed wakefulness like nothing else! Even if you’re in a coma. Or dead. Notes to self: 1) never […]
My Wife Just Said… #139
“What am I making for dinner tonight? Reservations.” -Elizabeth When a single day feels like a week, it’s like you’ve practically earned the right to not cook six times over, right? In these cases, it’s really just best for everyone’s health if the chef’s special for dinner is takeout or reservations at a restaurant. […]
My Wife Just Said… #137
“You’re going to let me buy that cheesy, light-up lawn decoration because you love me. And because the lad loves it.” -Elizabeth Double whammy. Love can be a very powerful bargaining chip. But the crappiness of some holiday decorations can overwhelm even the most passionate hearts. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” What bowling […]
My Wife Just Said… #135
“You’re asking if I’m doing okay? Well… no one’s dead yet.” -Elizabeth Sometimes the state of things needs to be looked at from a really wide perspective. Things can seem so extreme that “good” and “bad” can take on the comparable of “dead” or “not dead.” ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Star Wars […]
My Wife Just Texted… #133
I have a special place in my heart for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. And my wife has one for talking cutesy. So it works, ya know? Sometimes love makes you sound like Gollum. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pregnancy requires strength. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to […]
My Wife Just Said… #131
“We need to develop a hand signal that says: it’s not you, I’m just on my period.” -Elizabeth Yes please! We can take hand jive classes if necessary! Oh and I feel your pain! In a “I totally don’t actually feel your pain because I’m a guy and don’t menstruate” kind of way. Though, […]
My Wife Just Said… #129
[Said to my parents] “It’s both of your faults. Him.” [Referring to me] -Elizabeth We all exploded with laughter at the way she’d put it. Later that night, I stared at our 4yo son running around in circles as he stuck his tongue out and screamed gibberish. I turned to Lizzie, hugged her and […]
My Wife Just Texted… #127
It’s always nice to get a heads-up when there are hazards ahead. Might want to swing by the flower shop. Or the liquor store. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Video game conferencing > Video conferencing. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us.
My Wife Just Said… #125
[Answers cell phone] “You’re giving me away! Ha ha! I’m playing Hide and Seek with the little one! Your ring is giving me away! He’s coming…” [click] -Elizabeth Totally didn’t mind that hang up. My bad! In other related news, a Japanese professor is actually campaigning for Hide and Seek to be added to […]
My Wife Just Texted… #123
Sometimes my wife makes me feel like the prettiest lil’ husband. I oughta put on something special for her tonight. Gender roles can be as fun as panties can be comfy. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Toddlers are a little nutty about eating. Sometimes bribing is necessary. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best […]
