“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”
You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to someone.
My Wife Just Said… #47
“Oh please already! Put your penis AWAY!” [to 2yo Lucas, not to her husband, Andy] -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
My Wife Just Said… #45
“You sound just like your son. … No no, not something he said. He’s been ripping farts all day.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
My Wife Just Said… #43
“I tried underwear on Lucas today. I thought it would be a step in the direction of potty training. It turned out to be a step in the direction of getting poop on the floor.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
My Wife Just Said… #39
[Baby sick] “I think one of his plugged up nostrils finally cleared up, he’s nursing like MAD now! I’m so glad, my boobs are ready to explode!” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
My Wife Just Said… #37
“Oh God! Gimme your water! Ow! Potato chip shrapnel going down my throat!” -Elizabeth
Our Wives Just Said… #33
[Talking to Andy about Charlie] “So, how’s your husband doing?” -Elizabeth [Talking to Charlie about Andy] “So, what’d you and your boyfriend talk about?” -Avara
My Wife Just Said… #31
“They say ‘Mockery is the highest form of flattery’… Or was it ‘mimicry’? Whatever. One or the other.” -Elizabeth
My Wife Just Texted… #28
“Just went nuts and cut my own bangs… oh disaster… pray my hair grows fast. Need to buy a hat :(“ -Elizabeth
My Wife Just Said… #26
“WHERE IS THE OFF BUTTON!?!” [Not referring to any actual off button] -Elizabeth
