NOTEBOOK
Commentary, experiments, failures (more often than not) and experiences in the field.
My Son Is a Loser
We sit bobbing in the pool like pale apples waiting to be plucked. My son is crying into his flotation device and I am expectantly staring at him. This is not going as well as I’d hoped. “This game is boring and dumb. I hate it.” He’s over it. I’m treading water, literally and figuratively, […]
9 Parenting Tips from the Movie ‘Zombieland’
Yes. It’s time for another helpful parenting lesson using zombie culture. In case you didn’t learn the first time, the second time or every other time, this one should teach you something. I guess. I was a big fan of “Zombieland” when it came out. There was something sort of inspiring about it, though I […]
My Top 25 Parental Confessions
Bless me child for I have sinned. It’s been your lifetime since my last confession and I feel like I need to come clean. I have lied to you, stolen your property and coveted your dinner, as well as your youth. I am your father, but I haven’t always been a parent. I used to […]
A Letter From My Dead Father
I often ask myself why I write here. Who is this for? Do I think it’s even worth reading? This kind of writing can feel like the most self-centered exercise ever undertaken and I surely don’t post enough cat pictures or gossip to compel people to return. But today’s worth it. The reason, I’ve found […]
BREAKING NEWS: Famed Humorist Found with Banana in Compromising Position
:: For immediate and premature release. :: Famed Humorist Found with Banana in Compromising Position Noted author, designer, illustrator and humorist, Andy Herald, was found this morning in a compromising position with a tropical fruit. Herald, a native Los Angeleno and pious wearer of iPod/iPhone earbuds, is well-known for his “instructional diagrams” and use of […]
Notice Anything Different, Honey?
Hands on buzzers, people. What’s the exciting play-at-home game show of observation, memory and panic most couples have played, where one person is the unwitting contestant (or defendant) and the other person is host (or prosecutor) as well as being the game show board itself? It’s called Notice Anything Different, Honey? Let me explain. One […]
Answer 10 ““ Guess that Movie Line Love Note!
< The Empire Strikes Back > < PRINCESS LEIA I love you! HAN SOLO I know. [gets frozen in carbonate] CHEWBACCA RWGWGWARAHHHHWWRGGWRWRW > ““ We’ll love you if you Like us on Facebook. Such a deal.
Answer 9 ““ Guess that Movie Line Love Note!
< Casablanca > < [Rick gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet] RICK Here’s lookin at you kid. > ““ We’ll love you if you Like us on Facebook. Such a deal.
Answer 8 ““ Guess that Movie Line Love Note!
< The Princess Bride > < BUTTERCUP Farm boy… fetch me that pitcher. [It’s right over her head, so he has to stand next to her] WESTLEY As you wish. > ““ We’ll love you if you Like us on Facebook. Such a deal.
Answer 7 ““ Guess that Movie Line Love Note!
< The Last of the Mohicans > < HAWKEYE No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive… You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you. > ““ We’ll love you if you Like […]
