The Hands of Time
He reached out, fumbling for something. I grabbed a toy and handed it to him and he said, “No, Daddy,” and took my hand. I’ve been working relentlessly. So, sadly, Family Time seems better measured with a stopwatch than a clock these days. It makes perfect sense that my littlest lad has been […]
Bathroom Reading
Remember that time we published a book and went crazy spamming you about how awesome it was? Wasn’t that a blast? Well, Reader’s Digest thought it was pretty cool so they decided to do a little piece about our book! Go pick up this month’s issue on stands (December), they show a couple of positions. […]
Old Yeller Parenting
With the wild success of The Daddy Complex’s “CTFD Parenting” and a multitude of other parenting philosophies variously titled with animals names, military equipment and dance moves, we think it’s time we got in on this lucrative moneymaking scheme. Today, we submit to you: “Old Yeller Parenting.” No, we don’t shoot our kids, you lunatic. […]
What Text Replies REALLY Mean
Everyone’s texting or messaging everyone these days. Parents message their kids downstairs to dinner. Teachers will text a student to put away their phone. Pretty soon we’ll figure out a way to text our pets. A big problem is that, faceless and voiceless, text messages don’t do a stellar job of conveying emotion. People have […]
“Bath Time” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Bath time can be the most ME of “me times.” This proves difficult though for little kids, who require constant parental supervision when immersed in water within a hard, slippery surface. Parents know all about their privacy evaporating when they have kids, but for kids it’s also an uphill battle; a hill draped with a […]
Things You Should Bring but Will Probably Forget
This post was sponsored by Huggies. We can all remember what it was like when we first became parents. Sort of. Or at least some of us can. The rest of us might only recall a fragmented series of half-remembered blurs. It’s pretty exciting so it’s understandable that you might forget a few things in […]
Cinema Paradiso
The movie theater is a transformative, magical place that rips you from your life and thrusts you headlong into magic, horror or a state of imaginative dance, once that projector starts. My father loved movies. I remember how he would play them over and over at home. I remember relentlessly trying to get him to […]
Parenterms: “Sprintercourse”
Tick tock, tick tock. The clock is ticking for parents. Always. For something. Everything. Raising kids is a game show that starts with “hurry up” music playing, and it never stops. When it comes to making time to make some love, it’s so often the expendable scene that winds up on the editing room floor […]
My Kid Just Said… #32
“Hey Dada! You want me to dwaw you a pictuwe of poop??” CUE HIS CRAZY LAUGHTER FOR 15 MINUTES. My son is a Poop Picasso. ““ Previous My Kid Just Said Kids are smarter than adults. Period. My Kid Just Said Facebook Page This is where YOU can post YOUR kid’s quotes. Go for it!
Boob Visibility Comparison Chart (Models vs Mothers)
Mothers. They hide in bathroom stalls, fashion elaborate blankie wigwams or take cover behind mall ferns and alley dumpsters to protect us from the horror of the breastfeeding process. And by “us” I mean the few deranged and perverted assholes whose stomachs and backs have turned on a process that is commonly known as fucking […]
