My Kid Just Said… #51
“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth. ““ Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]
What It’s Like Being A Parent: Part Four
Last week, we talked about getting kids to eat and what that’s like. Or when they try to feed you, which is basically like this: But today, I want to talk about what it’s like trying to protect your newly-minted thingperson from hurting themselves. I’ve talked before about how it feels like my testicle ovaries […]
My Wife just Said… #169
“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. ““ Previous “My Wife […]
5 Ways Fitbit Is Ruining My Life
Man, everyone is wearing some kind of strap on their wrist these days. We’re counting our steps, calories from the foods we eat and everything else that has a number on it. Sometimes I see people pacing and wonder if they’re stressed out or just trying to reach their walking quota for the day. We […]
“The Elevator” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Most adults don’t realize that, all grown up, we will never want anything as excruciatingly bad as a child wants to press buttons. Elevator buttons especially! Add two mini humans in one elevator? Welp… No good can come of that. Watch and laugh. You know you want to press the button! Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to […]
The Gloaming Light
There is a wakefulness between the purity of the aware and the somnolence of sleep that feels like anything is possible. It’s better than a dream. It’s a waking dream under my command. I haven’t felt it in some time, but I know it could be just past the horizon line. I am nearly there. […]
Juicebag – Scrabble Scribble #9
You’re there. Life is happening to you. You respond. And your kid observes attentively. A reckless automobastard cutting you off for no good reason; a ferocious toy attacking your poor unsuspecting toe; a lengthy support call (that was aaaaaaaaaall call and no support) suddenly dropping off. Occasionally, some dirt hits the kid-filter so hard […]
“Electricity” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Explaining danger to your kid can be kind of hair raising for parents, but if it’s someone else who’s doing the explaining, it can be pretty flippin’ funny. We’re big fans of stick figure signs here at HowToBeADad.com, so this is especially priceless. Enjoy! Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to follow the series. (Liking, favoriting and commenting […]
Alternative Diets for Parents
The biggest problem with food is that it’s delicious and available. So, wouldn’t the overarching concept behind an effective diet be to reduce the amount of food available or to suppress the desire for it, or simply remove its deliciousness? Maybe not, but whatever, right?! If you choose the Kid-Made Diet, you’ll have no problem […]
Pizzaissance!
I have been designing pizzas in my mind since I was a very little boy living in San Francisco. While everyone else was eating macro-chaotic, mega-veggie, orange peel pizzofu or whatever, I craved the real deal. Finn had an idea to make this little video. Such a rad, little writer! You see, my childhood heroes […]
