Ruining Baby Names, One Suggestion at a Time
“Hey!!! How about [name that you will now probably not choose because I just suggested it].” When you start telling people you’re having a baby, certain things are going to inevitably happen. It’s like a chain reaction that is as certain and frothy as dropping a sleeve of Mentos headlong into a bottle of Diet […]
Bad Product Idea #11: The Boob Hat
Babies and toddlers have lots to do, all the time. Even when they have nothing to do, they’ll be busy doing something. But feeding can be suuuuuch an annoyance. Babies shouldn’t be required to put down the blocks every single chow time, wrapping themselves around Mommy’s midsection to suckle, or impersonating a sack of potatoes […]
College Student vs. Baby
[ click the image to enlarge ] When kids go off to college we get misty eyed and clutch each other and say “we’re losing our little baby,” or some such choked-up sentiment. But, fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes that’s not as true as we may think. The similarities are still there. Our babies just […]
My Wife Just Said… #71
“It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’d be eeeeeven happier with another baby!” -Elizabeth
The 5 Stages of Teething, An Illustrated Guide
Teething is a part of becoming a parent that a lot people dread to one degree or another. Us parents who have made it through the Stages of Teething, know that the people who don’t dread it are either certifiably naive or very drunk. But one can only stay naive and drunk for […]
Criminal vs. Baby
[ click the image to enlarge ] You ask your dearest, “Hon, have you seen my phone?” When you get the casual “no” reply, you hunt around a bit or tear the place apart. Hm. It’ll turn up, you think. You must have left it on silent-mode somewhere odd and forgotten. When you do […]
Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs
[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]
The Black Hole Zone of Cribs, Car Seats & Stollers
[ click the image to enlarge ] Before you have kids, it doesn’t seem possible you could lose much in a crib, car seat or stroller. They’re just a frame with bars and a frilly mattress, a cushioned bucket with a test-pilot’s buckling system and an over-sized folding chair on wheels covered by fabric. None […]
Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons
[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]
Baby Ninja
Ninjas aren’t born ninjas, that’s true… Or is it? Think about it. Babies are apparently born with various ninja characteristics. How many times have you muttered to yourself, totally mystified, “How the heck?” as you pulled something out of your little one’s hand that could not possibly have been reached? Or let out a yelp […]
