Job Description: PARENT
Job Title: Parent (Mother / Father) Department: Human Development Hours & Schedule: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year Location: Everywhere Job Description Updated: Hourly Position Summary The care and feeding of a miniature human. Backbreaking and mind-numbing manual, mental and emotional labor. Keeping your cool under pressure, exhaustion, overload, […]
Dad Jokes Hall of Shame ““ Part 7
My dad was a master of the cheesy pun decades before the world coined the term “dad joke.” One Christmas a present from him was unwrapped and it was a tiny planet Earth completely covered in glued-on pees. He wanted to give the best gift that anyone can give: world pees. The entire family groaned […]
My Kid Just Said… #63
There are so many memories you collect in the raising of your mini human. They’re not all equal, though. To put it figuratively, some of them are just poorly jotted down in pencil you can’t even read later, some are painstakingly written down with a pen, and some are recorded with a permanent marker in […]
Things You Thought Would Be a Bigger THING, Growing Up
As a kid, I was given several impressions that didn’t quite pan out as an adult. When you’re growing up, your head is soaking up everything like a good little sponge. Or maybe a lollipop that fell under the couch. It can come from rotting your brains on cartoons, shows, commercials and movies, or from […]
Did You Do Your Part(ner)? (Giveaway)
I partnered with Plum Organics for their Do Your Part(ner) campaign. Isn’t it romantic? Before this Valentine’s Day swept us all off our feet (or plopped us onto a cozy couch to pass out), I teamed up with Plum Organics for my hopefully-funny Realistic Love Notes for Parents to help launch their Do Your […]
7 Harry Potter Sequels NO ONE Wants to Happen
Whether it was the book or the films, a lot of us were sad when we came to the finale of the Harry Potter series. We got a brief glimpse of his future, older, married with kids, and were left to wonder to ourselves about the rest of the adult life of the Boy Who […]
My Wife Just Mommy-Brained… #305
We had boxes and bags of old toys we’d finally convinced (bribed and begged, basically) our seven-year-old son to part with. But little kids have a rather random and fast-changing mind, so we knew we needed to get them out of the house and over to Goodwill, ASAFP. The past three nights our little guy […]
Dad Dancing His Baby to “Beat It” Is Priceless
Baby’s are absolutely wonderful. But let’s face it, they can also be pretty boring. They need a lot of care and changing and feeding, of course, but when they don’t, things can occasionally get a little slow. Sure, when they’re really little everything is exciting. Flexing teeny fingers, speaking dolphin, crossing their eyes, making a […]
19 WonderAWFUL Kid Valentime’s Day Cards
In addition to the wild spellings kids come up with for “Valentimes” Day, their messages range from hilariously adorable to hilariously disturbing. So, if you ever thought you were bad at writing a sweet or romantic messages, these are going to make you feel like the greatest poet that ever lived. You’re NOT going to […]
20 Hilarious Parenting Memes
Parenting has a lot of funny moments to it, and even the not-so-funny moments can be made fun of pretty damn majestically. There are a truck ton of hilarious kid-owners out there shouting their jokes from the social media rooftops as humorous text, picture of video memes. I have the pleasure of knowing a bunch […]
