My Wife Just Said… #197
[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]
Baby Sleep Positions: “The Deflector Shield”
A shield is up! RED ALERT! Evasive maneuvers! All hand to battle stations! (Sorry for that.) You see, once a mother ship does fire a new little cosmonaut out of her launch bay, I’m afraid a deflector shield is now quite operational. And will be for a what can seem like lightyears. In space, no […]
“Shopping” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old
Every parent that takes their youngling out and about, no matter the age, has probably suffered from Post Tantrum Stress Disorder. You would have bet a Bugatti that they weren’t anywhere near the corner of hungry and tired. You totally thought that nap did the trick. You almost couldn’t believe the plate wasn’t part of […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: The Drunken Cobra
A baby can be like a drunken cobra, that is they would be, if snakes had a habit of irresponsibly drinking way too much sake and then going on a rampage. A baby’s finger and toe nails are sharper than samurai swords, and their coordination and aim? Worse than a government’s. Wobbly and unpredictable, an […]
My Wife Just Said… #195
Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]
This Baby KNOWS the Awesome Power of the Remote! (VIDEO)
Aside from having a last name that sounds like a really cool alien planet, Evelyn Terastvatsatrian is a mom and Youtuber who discovered her baby’s amazing reaction to the TV remote and videoed it for all to enjoy. Subscribe to Evelyn Terastvatsatrian Babies seem to learn from the get-go that buttons do some pretty magical […]
My Kid Just Farted… #57
5yo son: “Daddy, did you just fart!?” Me: “No, I didn’t.” Son: “THAT’S BECAUSE I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me and my son, Lucas (2015) He’s become a fart whisperer. Or shouterer. He’s obsessed. I can’t really blame him. Personally, I can on occasion be like Willy Honka’s Flatulate Factory. But I know it’s my fault, I […]
“Swimming” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old
If you’ve known how to swim for a long while it can be hard to remember what it was like when you first learned. For a little kid, even fully armored up like the Stay Puf’t Marshmallow Man with weird-feeling floaties, the giant bathtub that a pool is can be ominous. Being told that they’re […]
“Let It Go” with Phonetically Accurate Lyrics
Anyone who can read sheet music probably doesn’t need a guide to properly sing Let It Go from Frozen, but since the majority of us can’t sing our way out of a box… that’s open, and on fire… these simple, phonetically accurate lyrics and tips for screaming along may help you or your kid in […]
A Dad Turns Toddler Quotes into Amazing Pop Art
Anyone with kids above a certain speaking age has had their eyebrows raised into orbit when their kid starts saying… monumentally strange things. They can be weird, razor honest, sweet, embarrassing, wise, and often also hilarious. Martin Bruckner, art director and father of a 3-year-old daughter named Harper, decided to take some of these strange […]
