Preventing the Impossible: Kid Stains
M’kay. So maaaaaybe these aren’t such good ideas. It’s always surprising, the sheer number of inevitable stains that happen in a family. However, this surprise can sort of pale in comparison to the shock of HOW some of them happen. The other day, I was walking from the couch to the TV with a glass […]
My Wife Just Said… [Got milk]
This would have been a funny, slightly dysfunctional Got Milk ad. Well, it would have been funnier if I wasn’t living it, and having to drive back to the grocery store for a single item. One thing I was never prepared for in parenthood is the mind-boggling number of times I’ve gone to a grocery […]
GROWN-UP Goosebumps Books
Most people are familiar with the popular children’s series of scary stories known as Goosebumps. But adulthood is filled with it’s own terrors, too. Real terrors. We don’t need made up monsters or fantasy phantoms to make the hair stand up on our neck. Let’s take a look at some spooky book titles that would […]
In Real Life Dad Jokes (Hall of Shame pt. 11)
Anyone with lungs and the ability to speak can tell dad jokes ““ man, woman or child really ““ but it takes a special commitment to turn them into prop comedy. Here are 16 such real-life dad jokes for your en-groan-ment! 1) Strong enough for a man, but made for a dad. 2) Happy […]
Anti-Kid-Sharing Snack Packaging
It’s almost magical how kids can suddenly appear at the tiniest crinkle of a plastic bag. But it’s that crappy magic like a bad luck curse or the summoning of demons or evil spirits. We’re adults. We have earned the right to have our OWN snacks. Without our kids making us feel like we’re wearing […]
10 Made-Up Words Parents Just Might Relate To
Sometimes it feels like language falls short and we seem to be missing the right word for something. Since parents are masters of making sh*t up as they go, I’ve done just that with these made up words. Parenterms. See what you think! Sadly, there’s no ancient golden treasure hidden in this gross upholstered mobile […]
How Home Tasks ACTUALLY Get Done
Thanks to Clorox for sponsoring this post and arming us parents with the products we need to get ready for summer fun, without the summer funk. Everyone has had it happen. You said you’d do it. You set phone reminders that you kept arrogantly flicking away like annoying insects. For weeks, your spouse reminded […]
The Dadliest Fragrances Ever
While there are plenty of fragrances marketed to women and men, there really is a huge missed opportunity here to really speak to dads. Sure, the industry has plenty of scents for a wide variety of men. From the salt-of-the-earthy musk of a stylish lumberjack, to the suave stank of a cufflinked jet setter. (Whatever […]
The Perfect Dad Shoe Doesn’t Exi-
“The perfect shoe for a dad doesn’t exi-” [record scratch] Well it does now, kiddo! After extensive minutes of scientific analysis of countless dad clichés and stereotypes, The Perfect Dad Shoe™ is hot off the manufacturing grill! A masterful fusion between sneakers and clog sandals. That’s right! Yard work in the front, barbecue in the […]
My Wife Just Truth Stared… #340
We’ve all done it. The savagely unamused raised eyebrow. The “gimme a break” tilted head. When our kids get to a certain number of years in their careers as fibbers and exaggerators, we’ve called them out on their alternate facts enough times that it gets reduced to a simple stare we can beam at them. […]
