My Wife Just Said… #181
“Um… What WAS I saying? Ugh. I don’t even remember, I think all of my brain is leaking out into my pad.” -Elizabeth It’s over 9000° out in sun-stroked California right now. High heat and dehydration make me pretty brainless. It’s as if I’m sweating out my IQ points. Maybe this will result in […]
Types of Boogers (A Cartoonized Guide)
When we’re younger, we’re nearly always poorly educated about boogers. It’s obvious kids are fascinated by them, but parents and adults don’t tend to go much beyond “stop that” and “oh god gross” and “get that out of your mouth!” when it comes to the subject. Kids are typically left to explore the two tunnels […]
Bathroom Privacy – Scrabble Scribble #11
Kids have a very particular set of skills; skills they have acquired over the entirety of their young lives. Skills that make them a nightmare for people like you and me; parents. No matter what you do, they will look for you, they will find you, and they will do and say ALL OF […]
Doing Pregnancy Announcements the Right Way
Getting pregnant is a huge moment, a monumentally momentous moment. It’s no shocker that some people got really clever with the way they decided to spring the news to everyone. I never did anything particularly special for pregnancy announcements, but it makes me very vicariously happy to see (as you’re about to), that there are […]
My Wife Just Said… #179
“I want to cry. But I just don’t have the energy… I’m SO tired of being high maintenance! I didn’t used to be!” -Elizabeth She was misty-eyed and exhausted in my arms. I was sitting there listening, occasionally making quiet, encouraging sounds that said I understood and felt for what she was feeling. When […]
7 Extreme (Probably Definitely Horrible) Back-To-School Measures
As you can see, these back-to-school ideas are utterly terrible. No “probably” about it. Not only due to the terrific waste of time and money, but also because they’d result in bulldozing your kid’s individuality while making them a complete outcast laughingstock at school. What parent doesn’t want the best for their kids? With the […]
Rad/Bad Stuff: KILLING FRIGGIN’ BUGS Edition
I’m outdoorsish. I’m not like Bear Grylls or the Crocodile Hunter though, so I can’t whistle casually while a fly drinks moisture from my eyeballs. Though maybe I could do a shot of my own urine if I was paid enough, but let’s move on. This spring and summer I’ve been tormented by flying insuckts, […]
Child Labor
When dealing with a problematic manager or supervisor, you’ve undoubtedly come to the conclusion that some jobs require no special skill. Like, seriously, a bucket of wet dirt could do the job better. But, since hiring mud is generally frowned upon, I suggest we put kids in these positions. They’d achieve the same results and […]
My Wife Just Texted… #177
When you’ve got kids, the art of romance and the business of parenting can be a bit of an odd couple. The “biblical sense” normally refers to “knowing,” as in knowing each others brains out, but running a family can easily burn up all a couple’s time and energy, making it impossible to maintain anywhere […]
Facebook FOR TODDLERS
This is amazing. I’ve been following Rob Fee on Twitter (@robfee) for a couple of years without knowing much more than his wit consistently makes me piss-laugh or blows my mind. Then I came across this majesty of his. Ugh. If I didn’t love his humor so much, I’d hate him for being so […]
