Parenterms: “On Purpaccident”
Kids do things. Always. Let’s all admit that the mind of a child isn’t a just blank canvas or a field filled with giggling unicorns. It can be a pretty weird place and result in some pretty disastrous things. At a certain point kids start to get the idea that accountability plays into the some […]
My Wife Just Said… #149
“Your snoring last night kept me up for hours. You sounded like a hyena choking on its own snot. Yes you were! I recorded it…” [ Presses play on her phone ] -Elizabeth I watched her nighttime video intently, more importantly I listened to it. Um. So yeah. We’re lucky a neighbor didn’t call […]
Kid Definishons: “Yesterday”
Young kids are about as good at making accurate time references as I am at rolling a ball of water in my hands. When a kid is describing something that happened, parents know that when they say “yesterday” that the word has an elasticity that stretches from a millisecond before now all the way back […]
Notice Anything Different, Honey?
Hands on buzzers, people. What’s the exciting play-at-home game show of observation, memory and panic most couples have played, where one person is the unwitting contestant (or defendant) and the other person is host (or prosecutor) as well as being the game show board itself? It’s called Notice Anything Different, Honey? Let me explain. One […]
Daddy Vader Says… Victory
When you’re a kid, parents can be a little like Daddy Vader. Incredibly rad but at the same time intimidating in a way. Playing card games with him has to be a little more exciting than with anyone else. When he throws down, it’s a little more down than anyone else, right? At least when […]
My Kid Just Said… #39
“I watewwed da pwants!” [Big smile] “…By going PEE PEE!” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old) This was the first time my littlest son peed outside. On nature (neighborhood shrubs count as nature, right?). We’ve all had it happen. No bathroom. No diaper. Not enough time to make it to either. One can almost hear the […]
What if Apple made baby products?
Apple would do a great job making baby products. Heck, some babies are already so familiar with iPads, iPhones and iPods that they’ll try to swipe pictures in books and magazines to change them. People generally love the understated minimalism of their style and the overstated maximalism of their features. Attractive attributes to anyone, but […]
My Wife Just Texted… #147
Sometimes emoticons fail to convey the right message at first; even the more graphical, fancy-schmancy emojis can get lost in trans-emoticons-lation. When it comes down to it though, some fails are so hilarious they’re wins. I can’t judge, though. I’ve never hearted the internet age-old convention of <3 because it always looked like a sideways […]
Nude Tax Advice
Like two children squirming in front of the principal, my wife and I sat beside each other in front of our accountant’s slab of a desk. Going over all our papers for filing, he gave us some really good news about a specific point. We looked at each other and chuckled with relief, and I […]
An Honest Guide to Repacking a Product
Faulty products, misguided impulse buys, kid rejection, whatever; sometimes life gives you lemons. But you paid hard-earned money for those damn lemons, so you’re not just gonna sit there with a puckered-up face and bear it. You need to make a return. Sadly, before you can make an exchange or a return, you can’t just […]
