Pregnancy Terms Can Make You Hide Under a Tarp
Most medical terms sound hyper-enlightened and mystifying, but are actually based on Latin and Greek words that just meant… the thing that they referred to. What woman is going to let a “student of women” near their vagina, let alone PAY them for it? But that’s what “gynecologist” meant literally in Greek. If you look […]
An Inappropriate Guide to Proper Holiday Dining Etiquette (Video)
Manners at the table can seem like a sport. Of course, parents are the stressed out coaches, yelling orders from the sidelines or anxiously mouthing silent instructions to their kids. The Holidays, however, are the flippin’ Hunger Games of proper… um…acceptable… ugh… passable dinning etiquette for your kids. This hilarious video brings back so […]
“Leaves” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Adults just don’t know about certain things like kids do. That’s why you’ll always do it wrong when you’re trying to do it yourself, even with a child’s careful and thorough instructions. Do your best, but know that your best will always be a failure. It’s cute if you look at it the right way, […]
My Wife Just Said… #135
“You’re asking if I’m doing okay? Well… no one’s dead yet.” -Elizabeth Sometimes the state of things needs to be looked at from a really wide perspective. Things can seem so extreme that “good” and “bad” can take on the comparable of “dead” or “not dead.” ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Star Wars […]
What Text Replies REALLY Mean
Everyone’s texting or messaging everyone these days. Parents message their kids downstairs to dinner. Teachers will text a student to put away their phone. Pretty soon we’ll figure out a way to text our pets. A big problem is that, faceless and voiceless, text messages don’t do a stellar job of conveying emotion. People have […]
“Bath Time” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Bath time can be the most ME of “me times.” This proves difficult though for little kids, who require constant parental supervision when immersed in water within a hard, slippery surface. Parents know all about their privacy evaporating when they have kids, but for kids it’s also an uphill battle; a hill draped with a […]
Things You Should Bring but Will Probably Forget
This post was sponsored by Huggies. We can all remember what it was like when we first became parents. Sort of. Or at least some of us can. The rest of us might only recall a fragmented series of half-remembered blurs. It’s pretty exciting so it’s understandable that you might forget a few things in […]
Parenterms: “Sprintercourse”
Tick tock, tick tock. The clock is ticking for parents. Always. For something. Everything. Raising kids is a game show that starts with “hurry up” music playing, and it never stops. When it comes to making time to make some love, it’s so often the expendable scene that winds up on the editing room floor […]
Boob Visibility Comparison Chart (Models vs Mothers)
Mothers. They hide in bathroom stalls, fashion elaborate blankie wigwams or take cover behind mall ferns and alley dumpsters to protect us from the horror of the breastfeeding process. And by “us” I mean the few deranged and perverted assholes whose stomachs and backs have turned on a process that is commonly known as fucking […]
My Wife Just Texted… #133
I have a special place in my heart for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. And my wife has one for talking cutesy. So it works, ya know? Sometimes love makes you sound like Gollum. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pregnancy requires strength. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to […]
