Would You Like Some Cream Filling with Your Cream Filling?
Some people like the cream; some the cookie. Some twist and make like an amorous beaver on the inside before making their mouth into a black hole that devours the Starship Cookie in a single bite. We’ve all got our methods and preferences for eating yummy stuff. Oreos, peanut butter cups, lollipops, milk duds, you […]
Can’t Calm Them, Join Them
We’ve all (the royal WE) been there. Your kid is screaming bloody murder and they just seem like they need a little compassion, a gentle caress or a calm voice. Do we cave? Do we succumb to their emotional demands? Well, this father did and it proved to all of us doubters that sometimes things […]
Bushes Here and There and Everywhere (By Dr. Heuss)
I have fur on my head and fuzz on my toes, Now I have bushes where nobody knows. One bush, two bushes, three bushes… more!?! What are these bushes that weren’t before? I have seen bushes here and there and everywhere; Around people’s houses and at the town fair. There are bushes on […]
The Generosity of Kids Is… Overwhelming
You pour soooooo much into your kids. I don’t mean food, but yeah, there is that. I mean your love, your sleep, your energy (what there is left of it), your sweat, your tears. As if by instinct, you don’t really do so with any expectation of anything in return. That isn’t to say that […]
Bad Product Idea #12: BeDoodlers Sleepy-Time Skin Markers (For Adults)
Picture it. The little ones have finally stopped talking and moving and mess-making and… needing. They’re finally sleeping like the rocks you now feel like you’ve been bombarded with. But after the kid-valanche, things can seem startlingly slow. A little boring even. Don’t turn to a screen to chill out and wind down, though. BeDoodle […]
My Wife Just Sang… #99
“Oh yes! 99 Luftballoons! I LOVE that song! I used to be able to sing the whole thing. Yes. The German version.” [Commences singing] -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
The DON’Ts of Waiting on Tables of Families
There is an art to waiting tables. It is a dying art. It’s certainly a really a hard job, but there are tricks to it. To make it not be so awful. Everyone knows it must be a gruesome task to wait on tables that contain kids, but I’m a parent, so I’m not writing […]
How to Play Any Game with a Kid (Flowchart)
You sit there sweating bullets. You’re not worried you’ll lose, maybe there’s a hint of worry you’ll accidentally win. You’re just trying to keep up, playing a game with this young ball of spin-cycle lightning we commonly refer to as a kid. Whether it’s your kid or not is beside the point. It’s a KID! […]
In Praise of Mediocrity
As a father, I am not perfect. In fact, I’m so far from perfect, if I wanted to overnight a letter to perfect, it would cost me $46. David and the Vienna clan. So, while I do strive for perfection, I think mediocrity serves as a realistic short-term goal for me””mostly because I’ve already attained […]
Valentine’s Day Rejects (Caption Party)
Oh Valentine’s Day. It’s not just single people that can look at the middle of the month of February as the butthole of the calendar. It can all get to be a bit too much, even for people who have someone special. The commercialization of peer-pressurized romance can get on anyone’s nerves. There’s a snarky, […]
