My Kid Just Wished… #33
“When I grow up, I don’t want to grow up.” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old) Wishing on your birthday cake to never grow up probably breaks some Wish Law but I’m good with that if that’s the worst law he ever breaks. It started with him standing on a step stool. He had as much […]
Parenterms: “Sprintercourse”
Tick tock, tick tock. The clock is ticking for parents. Always. For something. Everything. Raising kids is a game show that starts with “hurry up” music playing, and it never stops. When it comes to making time to make some love, it’s so often the expendable scene that winds up on the editing room floor […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: The Foot Python
Suiting up your little one is a tough challenge, even for ninjas. Especially socks. Those legs are tiny, but they’re fast and don’t like to stay still for lengths of time greater than it takes to blink. This cannot be avoided, so you must be clever and fast. As the ancient proverb says: the wise […]
The Family Pet… Robot
When the question of whether we should get a family dog or cat came up, I admit I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed a little bit. Okay, a LOTtle bit. I’ve had a Beastmaster level of family pets. Mammals, reptiles, birds, amphibians, fish oh my! I even tried to keep captured […]
THE FLOOR IS LAVA!
It’s one of the best kid’s games ever, jumping from furniture to furniture to avoid touching the ground, because it is lava. It turns out it’s also one of the best excuses ever. Come brush my teeth? Hah! Yeah right. The floor is lava! Time to do my chores? LAVA! You see, most parents don’t […]
The Pickiest Eaters in the History of Ever
Kids are like a test. One that you can’t really pass. You just sort of go through it chewing on your pencil, sweat beading on your forehead. You’re looking around at the other students (parents) and seeing if you can’t catch a glimpse at their answers. But then you see their foreheads glistening with the […]
Kid Definishons: “Undiewares”
It’s a pretty safe assumption that if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been wearing underwear for several years. Hopefully not the same pair. Whatever the condition of your undergarments, you must admit it’s been a long time since your parents first slipped a pair of undies on you instead of a diaper. You probably don’t […]
Kid Definishons: “Inpublic”
What your kid gets from the words you use can sometimes be close, but not quite right. The sheer repeated context of a word can train them into a wrong association. My 4yo son now tells my wife and I that we’re being inpublic. He chuckles and admonishes us sagely, “Hah! Dat was inpubwic!” It’s […]
Crust: A Child’s Natural Enemy
As parents, attempting to feed your kids good food (or any food) can be an endless, nerve-wracking journey through Internet articles and grocery store aisles. For all the warnings and alerts out there, there exists a serious danger not posted online or on any package. A dietary risk to your child as unsettling as sugar […]
Bad Product Idea #12: BeDoodlers Sleepy-Time Skin Markers (For Adults)
Picture it. The little ones have finally stopped talking and moving and mess-making and… needing. They’re finally sleeping like the rocks you now feel like you’ve been bombarded with. But after the kid-valanche, things can seem startlingly slow. A little boring even. Don’t turn to a screen to chill out and wind down, though. BeDoodle […]
