My Wife Just Said… #51
“What did you do to make me worry, you ask? You don’t need to do anything, my head does it all for you.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Gimme My Boobies Back!
The Boob Decision Moms tend to be beautiful, near-magical creatures. But when it comes down to a heated breastfeeding debate, sometimes we’re left with just the creature part. But this isn’t about that, we’ll leave that one to better writers who are actually women. Mothering.com ran a design contest for a universally recognizable symbol for […]
My Wife Just Said… #43
“I tried underwear on Lucas today. I thought it would be a step in the direction of potty training. It turned out to be a step in the direction of getting poop on the floor.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
My Wife Just Said… #37
“Oh God! Gimme your water! Ow! Potato chip shrapnel going down my throat!” -Elizabeth
My Wife Just Said… #31
“They say ‘Mockery is the highest form of flattery’… Or was it ‘mimicry’? Whatever. One or the other.” -Elizabeth
What Would I Do Without Her?
I’m home alone. I have been for days. Lizzie and the kids are off visiting relatives. Don’t close window! I’m not going to put on after-shave, spank my face with both hands and squawk into a mirror. ♫ Love is in the air! ♫ It’s cool. I’m good. No matter where I go in the […]
Giving Yourself the Death Penalty
Kids are easy to hurt. Plain and simple. They’re little and tend to be uncoordinated, and compared to them we’re BIG and… tend to be uncoordinated. Look, we don’t even spank the boys in our house, so this isn’t some child abuser’s psychotic attempt at an excuse for going postal on one’s offspring. I’m talking […]
My Wife Just Texted… #28
“Just went nuts and cut my own bangs… oh disaster… pray my hair grows fast. Need to buy a hat :(“ -Elizabeth
My Wife Just Said… #26
“WHERE IS THE OFF BUTTON!?!” [Not referring to any actual off button] -Elizabeth
