My Wife Just Said… #271
I can’t really contradict her. Not when I have days where my zipper was down more than it was up. And, it’s true, there’s also my lovely fart-singing voice. We live in a world where adulthood isn’t the pressed slacks and wingtip shoes it used to be. For a lot of us, now it’s a […]
My Wife Just Yawned… #269
I guess I should be glad that she’s still willing to push through the exhaustion and power-lift her lead-heavy, kryptonite eyelids to stay up with me. Though, honestly, the number of shows episodes and ends of movies we’ve had to rematch because of this has to be in the triple digits now. She doesn’t snore, […]
My Wife (?) Just Texted… #267
Okay. So, my wife gives our six-year-old son her phone every once in a while to watch cartoons or play games on. This fact obviously escaped my thinking when I sent that naughty little pornmoji man. Ehem! Even if he had been the one on his mom’s phone, while I know he wouldn’t have fully […]
My Wife Just PMSed… #263
I won’t state my wife’s age because I respect her privacy and value my life. The number doesn’t really matter, though. At widely various ages, women go through hormone changes, on top of the monthly Molotov cocktail whipped up by menstruation. It’s Mother Nature’s pulse-revving, hot flashing “and now for my next trick…” in the […]
My Wife Just Said… #261
She was right. Our son was in his room “playing” with action figures on the dog. The poor fluffy pooch was sitting there patiently but looked up with “save me” eyes. I extracted him with a finger wag to my son. “‹There’s an ability parents gain, deciphering the sounds and cries their babies and kids […]
My Wife Just Called for Help… #259
“HONEY! I need your help! … M-my bra is hooked onto my earring!” ““Elizabeth I ran into the room just as she was finishing the last sentence, and I actually tilted my head as I tried to figure out what I was seeing. She stood frozen in place with her arms up, her shirt […]
My Wife Just Said… #257
With so much to do as parents, some things filed in the “essential” category can get abruptly jammed into the “expendables” folder. We try to multitask, maximize and economize the crap-ton we have to do, AND get our kids to do. Sure, it’d be nice of parents didn’t have to have their kids put their […]
My Wife Just Said… #255
“You know the expression about ‘the two certainties in life: death and taxes’? When you have a kid, there are two more: dishes and laundry. Hmmmm… This could be a really long list.” ““Elizabeth That list could get soooooooo long. The internet has a bunch of jokes about the failed promise of hoverboards and flying […]
My Wife Just Said… #253
“Why’re you sticking!!!” Son: “What???” “I was talking to the pan.” Son: “But… but the pan is not alive.” ““Elizabeth & Our 6yo It’s funny that he was calling her out for talking to her cooking equipment, because an hour earlier was having an energetic discussion with a stick. They […]
My Wife Just Complained… #251
“I have a high tolerance for pain, but a very low tolerance for discomfort.” ““Elizabeth Hang on. What? Not sure how her statement makes perfect sense to me, but it kinda does. Science, and people who push large melon-sized things out of their bodies, have long claimed that women tend to have a higher […]
