My Wife Just Said… #197
[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]
My Wife Just Said… #195
Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]
My Wife Just Texted… #193
My wife and I share a passion for sales. We don’t claim to be pros, we’re more like face-painted and foam-finger wielding fans. No, our pillows aren’t stuffed with expired coupons, our use of eBay isn’t like a government intelligence agency, and we’re not thrift shop tag-poppin’ junkies (yet), but if someone puts a BIG […]
My Wife Just Texted… #191
A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]
My Wife Just Said… #189
“Are you okay there with him? Can you look after him while you work?” -Elizabeth Obviously my answer was, yes. Yes, I could look after him. When you’re doing some of your work from home, or doing the things around the house that sure as hell aren’t going to do themselves, kids never make […]
My Wife Just Said… #187
“[Blah blah blah blah blah blah] …can you tell I’ve been alone too much today.” -Elizabeth I was listening the whole time. The whooooooole time. Which was a really long time. I swear was listening, though! I’m not saying I didn’t run my hand through my hair or rub the bridge of my nose […]
My Wife Just Loud Voice Said… #185
“That wasn’t yelling, that was loud voice talking.” -Elizabeth No one wants to feel like the crappiest parent ever, but you’d think parents adored feeling that way if you judged by how often we seem to go to there. In raising kids, sometimes the pressure mounts, nerves get frayed, limits get hit, and we […]
My Wife Just Screamed… #183
“Tonight we are having pork chops with apricot glaze seared and roasted in a cast iron skillet [grabs cast iron skillet] AAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!! Can you hand me an ice pack, honey?” -Elizabeth When deciding on a family dinner, some people decide to go all out, preparing a full-on gourmet meal with multiple sides of fancy-schmancy. […]
My Wife Just Said… #181
“Um… What WAS I saying? Ugh. I don’t even remember, I think all of my brain is leaking out into my pad.” -Elizabeth It’s over 9000° out in sun-stroked California right now. High heat and dehydration make me pretty brainless. It’s as if I’m sweating out my IQ points. Maybe this will result in […]
My Wife Just Said… #179
“I want to cry. But I just don’t have the energy… I’m SO tired of being high maintenance! I didn’t used to be!” -Elizabeth She was misty-eyed and exhausted in my arms. I was sitting there listening, occasionally making quiet, encouraging sounds that said I understood and felt for what she was feeling. When […]
