My Wife Just Texted… #177
When you’ve got kids, the art of romance and the business of parenting can be a bit of an odd couple. The “biblical sense” normally refers to “knowing,” as in knowing each others brains out, but running a family can easily burn up all a couple’s time and energy, making it impossible to maintain anywhere […]
My Wife Just Texted… #175
My wife is so considerate. She’s always so polite and dainty like a Victorian lady twirling a parasol. Unless she happens to be wrestling a particularly stubborn pickle jar or battery compartment, then she’s more like a sailor-mouthed ex-con with anger management issues. But mostly it’s pinkies out and poots in private. Too cute. Regarding […]
My Wife just Said… #173
“Your laptop is so filthy, you look homeless… except for the fact that homeless people don’t usually have laptops.” -Elizabeth I fully admit it. It’s kinda true. Sure, I’ve got screen cleaner and wipes and a great joke about how my laptop is a “hipster,” but… still. I’d invest heavily in a company that […]
My Wife just Said… #171
“Okay. Honey! The toilet and I just became best friends. Let’s take it easy on the romance.” -Elizabeth The flower of romance can bloom suddenly in the rays of spontaneity. Or it can hit a very firmly closed bathroom door. There’s a time and place for everything, and sometimes “the mood” needs to take […]
My Wife just Said… #169
“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. ““ Previous “My Wife […]
My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167
Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.” Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???” Wife: “There’s a… hole.” Son: “In you butt?” Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.” Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]
My Wife Just Texted??? #165
There are the occasional times when we leave our phones unattended and unlocked. I’m not referring to myself here, since people have joked that my iPhone and earbuds are part of my body’s anatomy, but for other people it happens from time to time. Of those times, mischievous people sometimes get a hold of them. […]
My Wife Just Texted… #163
Sometimes my wife, Lizzie, knows just what to say to me. Even when she doesn’t know it. They say “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but some ways of getting there are much faster than others. PIZZAAAAAA!!! ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Kid faces only a mother could love. Follow […]
My Wife Just Texted… #161
My phone lit up by my side as I was working late. I read the text and knew it probably meant that the part of my 4yo son’s mind that manufactures nightmares was also working late. I made an awwww face as imagined the little guy stumbling with drowsy desperation to our room, to […]
My Wife Just Said… #159
“When they kissed in old movies, it looked like two people fell into each other’s faces and just stopped. And now it looks painful, like they’re trying to eat each other’s faces off.” -Elizabeth Every once in a while my wife and I will turn our heads slowly and exchange looks, in response […]
