My Wife Just Said… #245
[Whispering] “I’m so sorry. He said he reeeeeally wanted Monopoly.” ““Elizabeth She said this after he tore off the wrapping paper and gasped with joy. I mouthed, “You owe me.” We both totally knew that I was the one who was going to be playing it with him. And by playing it with him, […]
My Kid Just Said… #62
“I am not a LEGO builder, I am a LEGO artist.” -Lucas (2015, 6 years old) You know a 6yo kid means business when they use “I am” instead of “I’m” when they’re saying something. We were impressed. I’d just complimented him on what a good LEGO builder he was and he turned […]
Hilarious First Game of Chess (VIDEO)
The other day I discovered someone had started teaching my 6yo son how to play chess! So, we dusted off the old marble and brass decorative chess set we’d jammed in a closet after the last move and set it up. He’s well into the “I KNOW, DAD!” phase, and since I had no idea […]
My Kid Just Drew… #59
5yo son: “I drew Mr. Poo and Mr. Fart.” Me: “Haha! Are they friends?” Son: “Of course they are!” [eye roll] “”me and my son, Lucas (2015) Some things are so obvious, you’re just begging for an eye roll when you ask, or even dare to raise an inquisitive eyebrow. I guess I really should […]
10 Insider Tips for Playing with Kids
Here are some tips and warnings for parents signing up for the full-contact, mind-bending sport known as Playing. I’ve added 6-second videos to each point to demonstrate more fully humorously. You can turn the sound on and off in the lower-left of each video. (Some of these get a bit festive, so you may want […]
My Kid Just Farted… #57
5yo son: “Daddy, did you just fart!?” Me: “No, I didn’t.” Son: “THAT’S BECAUSE I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me and my son, Lucas (2015) He’s become a fart whisperer. Or shouterer. He’s obsessed. I can’t really blame him. Personally, I can on occasion be like Willy Honka’s Flatulate Factory. But I know it’s my fault, I […]
My Wife Just Texted… #191
A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]
Peanuts – Scrabble Scribble #12
You don’t want your head to explode trying to hold it in, but you know it’s wrong to laugh. And that, as a result, they’re just going to say it over and over for a month and in all the most public or inappropriate places. Even knowing this, though, sometimes your can kids say […]
Memos to the Tooth Fairy
My 5yo son’s wiggly-jiggly tooth was recently liberated from his smile and he couldn’t wait to write a pillow-bound note to the Tooth Fairy. Here’s the text (uncorrected, to preserve the cuteness): Dear. TootH. Fairy. i Love you. My tooth FeLL. out. i wANt presents. tHANk you. Short, polite and to the point. Adorable, […]
My Kid Just Said… #56
“I gonna take dis gwass of water an’ pour it in dat bowl of dirt. Because… ya aaaaaaalways need mud.” -Lucas (2013, 5 years old) My cheeks cramped from smiling after he said this, but I kept watching with my spasmodic smirk as he happily turned dirt into mud with water, and my brow […]
