My Wife Just Said… #129
[Said to my parents] “It’s both of your faults. Him.” [Referring to me] -Elizabeth We all exploded with laughter at the way she’d put it. Later that night, I stared at our 4yo son running around in circles as he stuck his tongue out and screamed gibberish. I turned to Lizzie, hugged her and […]
The Family Pet… Robot
When the question of whether we should get a family dog or cat came up, I admit I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed a little bit. Okay, a LOTtle bit. I’ve had a Beastmaster level of family pets. Mammals, reptiles, birds, amphibians, fish oh my! I even tried to keep captured […]
My Kid Just Said… #29
“I married to Mommy.” No no, being married is when a boy and a girl meet and decide to spend the rest of their lives together. “Yes… I married to Mommy.” -Lucas (4 years old) Touché, kid. Tou-friggin-ché. Go get me a tissue, will ya? ““ Previous My Kid Just Said Blood keeps your kid […]
My Kid Just Said… #28
“My bwood is still awake.” -Lucas (4 years old) Uhhhhhhh… Your what? Your BLOOD? It’s still awake? Oh… … … good?* * I can’t bring myself to tell him the it’s bedtime for his blood. Way too creepy. Shhhhhh… don’t wake his blood. They’ll say anything to get out of going to bed, […]
My Kid Just Said… #27
“I don’t need to go pee pee… I just dancing.” -Lucas (4 years old) Just bustin’ a move. Ah the pee pee dance. It’s the first dance we ever learn. I guess I can’t be sure, though. Maybe he is dancing. Gyrating while grabbing your crotch practically qualifies as a style of dance these days. […]
My Kid Just Said… MERICA! #26
“You is a Merican!” -Lucas (July 4th 2013, 4 years old) Happy 4th of July, my fellow Mericans. Make some amazing memories! ““ Previous My Kid Just Said Boobs are as Merican as it gets! My Kid Just Said Facebook Page This is where YOU can post YOUR kid’s quotes. Go for it! Follow […]
The Best Bad Ideas
Before I begin, let me assure you no toddler was harmed in any way. This isn’t one of those kinds of stories. In the way-too-early morning (aka before noon) we packed up Lucas, our 3.5-year-old son, got me coffee and all headed off to a skateboarding park. It was rented out for us, all to […]
My Kid Just Said… #24
“Thomas da Twain has a penis!” -Lucas (2013, 3.5 years old) Mommies have a not-penis (aka bajina). Daddies have a penis (aka a not-jina). And twains ::ehem:: trains apparently do, too? Listening to a young child explain who’s got what or who doesn’t is pretty much the best reality TV show that will never and […]
My Kid Just Said… #23
“I want to be a fiweman. So I can wescue people.” -Lucas (2013, 3.5 years old) Sometimes my kids say things to me that are so moving to me that I catch myself, the look I’m wearing on my face. Because sometimes the aftermath of a heart-microwaving statement or moment is me sitting there, still, […]
My Kid Just Sniffed… #19
“Daddy’s stinky!” [I change my shirt] “S’okay now. I can’t smeww da stinky anymoh.” “But… when it goes away, it comes back.” -Lucas (2013, 3.5 years old) Personal hygiene can experience a “low” when people become parents. Low like The Great Depression. All the hustle and bustle… ::sigh:: At least that’s what I’m blaming it […]
