Decoding the Phrases of Marriage
Something strange happens to the English language when men get married. Like a cute little caterpillar that slowly turns into Mothra, the language you’ve understood for most of your life can take on a different, and often confusing, meaning. Suddenly a misused word or phrase can have horrible consequences and the next thing you know […]
22 Odd & Edgy Relationship Comics
Just in time for Valentine’s Day! Let’s all let our hair down and loosen our belts and have a good ol’ laugh at relationships. In general. Not our own! That’s a bit risky, of course. Getting too nitty gritty about our relationships can be a ride on a stage coach filled nitro glycerin, clattering at […]
My Wife Just Rambled…
Of course she just gave me that look. I should be more specific, though. Couples develop and collect tons of looks in marriage. There’s the “shhhh don’t say anything” wide eyes, the “I’m so entirely done with this shit” eye roll, the “maybe later tonight” wink, the “don’t you even start” laser glare. The list […]
My Wife Just Said… ( • )( • )
We were arguing about the dumbest most unimportant thing, as married people do. It was late and we were both tired (though it’s probably unnecessary to qualify that it was late since tiredness is our constant companion). To make things worse, we were both hungry enough to be cranky, but not hungry enough to override […]
How to Test Steak for WRONGNESS
Everyone has their preference, of course. And one could say there is no WRONG way to have a steak prepared for you, but the person who said that would be very sadly mistaken. However, in today’s day and age, it’s totally okay for people to like absolutely awful things. It’s 2018! You do you. But […]
My Wife Just Said… (Zipper Struggle)
It’s hard to have a grown-up discussion with your wife when your fly is down or your shirt is inside-out. But it can be done! I’m living proof of this. Frequently. The trick is to compensate by using big words and deep philosophical concepts. For instance, you can say, “It’s an entirely admissible error to […]
My Wife Just Said… [Got milk]
This would have been a funny, slightly dysfunctional Got Milk ad. Well, it would have been funnier if I wasn’t living it, and having to drive back to the grocery store for a single item. One thing I was never prepared for in parenthood is the mind-boggling number of times I’ve gone to a grocery […]
How Home Tasks ACTUALLY Get Done
Thanks to Clorox for sponsoring this post and arming us parents with the products we need to get ready for summer fun, without the summer funk. Everyone has had it happen. You said you’d do it. You set phone reminders that you kept arrogantly flicking away like annoying insects. For weeks, your spouse reminded […]
My Wife Just Said… #339
Sometimes I extend my hand for a sarcastic introductory handshake when my wife asks silly things that she should absolutely know about me by now, or over a decade ago. I loooove food. And I also love not wasting money. It’s a powerful combination I find truly difficult to resist. In our house we don’t […]
50 SHADES OF BROWN (The Unplanned Sequel)
After freeing themselves from the shadows of their past (and their headboard handcuffs), newly weds Anastasia and Christian embark on a new kind of domination and submission in their life, a kind that has no safe word… Parenthood. Sure. You thought it was only a trilogy, maybe even vigorously hoped and prayed, but it was […]
