My Wife Just Texted??? #165
There are the occasional times when we leave our phones unattended and unlocked. I’m not referring to myself here, since people have joked that my iPhone and earbuds are part of my body’s anatomy, but for other people it happens from time to time. Of those times, mischievous people sometimes get a hold of them. […]
A Decade
Ten years ago, I eloped with a girl who honestly should’ve known better. Through all of my hardships and successes, my insanity and creativity — she stuck with me. Thank you for your unequaled support and love, Avara. I’m better for having known you. Love, Dingle AKA Doodle AKA Shmoop AKA Skiddy AKA Doo AKA […]
My Kid Just Said… #40
“Soooo… how was the wedding?” [confused looks] “…Yours and Mommy’s.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old) It just sort of took us by surprise because it came completely out of nowhere. We both riffled through our crappy parent memories for what wedding he could be talking about. Once he clarified, we both shared a long, […]
Notice Anything Different, Honey?
Hands on buzzers, people. What’s the exciting play-at-home game show of observation, memory and panic most couples have played, where one person is the unwitting contestant (or defendant) and the other person is host (or prosecutor) as well as being the game show board itself? It’s called Notice Anything Different, Honey? Let me explain. One […]
My Wife Just Texted… #147
Sometimes emoticons fail to convey the right message at first; even the more graphical, fancy-schmancy emojis can get lost in trans-emoticons-lation. When it comes down to it though, some fails are so hilarious they’re wins. I can’t judge, though. I’ve never hearted the internet age-old convention of <3 because it always looked like a sideways […]
5 Reasons Your Wife Hates You
Marriages can be tough. Heck, working together with human beings in any capacity can be rough business, but in this case you’re jumping into the foxhole with someone who splits electricity bills with you and sees your junk constantly. Or less constantly, depending on your foxhole schedules. I’ve been with my partner in crime for […]
Nude Tax Advice
Like two children squirming in front of the principal, my wife and I sat beside each other in front of our accountant’s slab of a desk. Going over all our papers for filing, he gave us some really good news about a specific point. We looked at each other and chuckled with relief, and I […]
Parenterms: “Sprintercourse”
Tick tock, tick tock. The clock is ticking for parents. Always. For something. Everything. Raising kids is a game show that starts with “hurry up” music playing, and it never stops. When it comes to making time to make some love, it’s so often the expendable scene that winds up on the editing room floor […]
My Wife Just Texted… #133
I have a special place in my heart for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. And my wife has one for talking cutesy. So it works, ya know? Sometimes love makes you sound like Gollum. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pregnancy requires strength. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to […]
My Wife Just Said… #129
[Said to my parents] “It’s both of your faults. Him.” [Referring to me] -Elizabeth We all exploded with laughter at the way she’d put it. Later that night, I stared at our 4yo son running around in circles as he stuck his tongue out and screamed gibberish. I turned to Lizzie, hugged her and […]
