The Pinocchio Complex
A small boy with matted brown hair and small, painted blue eyes sat on a shelf looking out a window into the night sky. The black expanse above him stretched as far as all of his dreams stacked end to end. The boy tugged on his marionette strings and felt their threads pulling on his […]
Diners, Dives & Dribble
Recently, a story hit the news cycle and stirred up a ton of debate online about a certain diner in downtown Portland, and its cheerfully enraged owner, Darla Neugebauer. The debate, at its core, centers around etiquette and proper table manners, which is obviously the most important issue, both foreign or domestic, that could be […]
A Movie So Tiny It’s Epic: ANT-MAN!
Do you remember what it’s like to be a kid? Do you recall what it felt like to be a small person amongst a forest of tall bodies and sounds? Tomorrow, Ant-man will give you that feeling again, in both fun and size. Tiny-sized Andy enjoyed himself at the #AntMan premiere last night. I had […]
My Wife Just Whisper-Screamed… #221
“I have a really bad boob itch! Hug me!” [Hugs me and goes postal on her left breast between us] ““Elizabeth We were sitting next to each other in a nice restaurant. Our plates lay before us devastated as we chatted over the soft music playing in the background. Her eyes went wide while I […]
The Little Terrible Runaway
Sorre i haf to go a way. I Am sorre! I Love you But you Love me to. Buy Buy 💔 😢 He sat there sniffling on the sidewalk in front of our house. His long and bold journey away from the pain and torment of home was only the length of our […]
The Best/Worst of #ParentingUnfiltered
You’re probably already aware we’ve been working with Plum Organics to help create an online place for #ParentingUnfiltered stories and pictures as a sort of backflip to how we tend to present our kids and families online with picture-perfectness, or at least so we don’t get a knock on our door from Child Protective Services. […]
What if You Could Talk to Your 12-Year-Old Self?
If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? And since childhood memories can get a little fuzzy, what would you ask? I get the idea that my younger self might just stare at me in wonder before telling me to shave my beard and ease off on the donuts, while older […]
Skin Cancer Is Not Your Friend
So, listen. I know the internet is filled with a lot of causes and movements and groups and Change.org petitions and blah blah blah, but I want to scare the shit out of you for just a second. Okay, maybe I won’t completely terrify you, but maybe I can talk in a way that ups […]
Baby Food Bullying
We’re bummed out. A rad company is being bullied in the media with sensationalistic finger-pointing and it’s starting to remind us of a toddler screaming at a cool toy for no reason. Let us be crystal clear. We’ve been working with Plum Organics to start an online convo about the honest, unfiltered moments of parenting. […]
5 Ways You Can Royally Screw Up Mother’s Day
Lots of websites write theoretical, preachy lists about innumerable parenting and relationship pitfalls, but most don’t really live them. You can tell by the way the author speaks so authoritatively while remaining distant from their own material. For example, I read an article recently about some relationship issue and the writer made it sound like […]
