I may not be the most knowledgeable Star Wars fan of all time, but I know what’s what. I know the difference between a Wookiee and scruffy nerfherder.

And I covet nothing more than Star Wars toys. So it was hilariously ridiculous when I found these knockoff toys around the internet. I mean, just look at them. I’m surprised they didn’t call it Trek Wars or something.

Anyway, laugh along with me as take a trip down WHATTHEHECK Lane!

Upright Slug

Let’s start with the lesser known characters. In the prequels, we met the Gungans. Well, meet Mr. Upright Slug guy. I’m not sure why he has the key to the city, but this guy is wearing the best moo-moo money can buy.

Conehead

To the well-informed, this is definitely Ki Adi Mundi. Instead these fakers named him after a Saturday Night Live skit, and made him look like a cross between Santa and a character from The Neverending Story. Seems legit.

Little Girl

Hahahahahaha. I mean… Aahahahaha. Anakin Skywalker is… uh…. hahaha.

Queen

Short and to the point, this one is more about the quality of the figurine. They practically painted her eyebrows all the way around her face. Sorry, Padmé. There’s no budget for a waxing.

Toby One

Toby One? It’s like they’re not even trying.

The Emperor Daft Serious

Is he part of Daft Punk? What is going on here? Darth Sidious looks more like a Zoolander character than a Star Wars dark lord.

R2-3PO

Hahahaha. “I have an idea. Just combine the two droid names and pretend like they never existed.

Glorious Star Lord

“Fine, let’s just call this one Star Lord.” “Wait, isn’t that the name of a Guardians of the Galaxy character?” “Yeah, but who the hell knows which character this is.”

Dennis

Have you guys met Darth Maul’s brother Dennis? He’s a badass. He also uses a giant blue straw as a weapon.

Mace Window

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a mace window would be effective. And I’d like to see Samuel L. Jackson’s face when he sees this thing.

??????? Star Wars

If a Dalek made love to R2D2 while on acid, this droid would be the result. There are no words.

Galaxy Empire?

A one-eyed werewolf? Groot’s moldy brother? What even is going on here.

Las Galaxias

This seems like the most legit package of the bunch. Right? Lol. I’ve put my kids’ sandwiches in cleaner bags than this.

Which one is your favorite? Or the worst? Post your pick in the comments!