Bad Product Idea #5: Tranquoo Child Anti-Wakefulness System
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There is nothing more precious, more beautiful, than the image of your child in a deep, restful, rosy-cheeked slumber. But that preciousness and beauty is multiplied by 10,000 when it follows the utter, sanity-testing misery of your child screaming, flailing and refusing to go to sleep for an hour or two or more.
Allow yourself to dream for a moment. It’s okay if you break wind. That just means you’re relaxing and it’s working. Imagine an organic, non-habit forming solution to your restless toddler problems. Tranquoo is the ideal child anti-wakefulness system, using modern technology to provide a silent, accurate way to get a virtually instant parenting break from it all.
Parents know when their kid hits that point where they need to sleep. Or else. And sometimes it seems like the Sandman needs a cue a little stronger than an “eh-hem!” when it comes to the situation. Like a big, purple and green gun shooting him in the face, telling him to come on over and get the #### to work drowning your kid in his sleepy sand! Well, guess what… Your dream just came true. BLING!
It doesn’t matter why. Maybe they’re sugared up on a diabetes-inducing quantity of candy, maybe they’ve just passed that over-tired threshold where non-sleep turns into violent craziness, it doesn’t matter. Tranquoo is there for you.
Don’t get the wrong idea. The makers of Tranquoo love kids. All kids are adorable, when they’re not in the throes of tormented insanity. Our system was developed out of a love of kids and a strong desire for them to stay alive and well-cared for by way of their parents maintaining their sanity.
The sleek design and bright colors of the Tranquoo pneumatic pistol will liven up any diaper bag. And now, with our dosages for teenaged children, Tranquoo can stay a part of your family as it grows up!
Use Tranqoo and you’ll say “Tranq you very much!”
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