Santa Claus vs. Pregnant Woman

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Santa Claus vs Pregnant Woman
 

[ click the image to enlarge ]

In our Versus series, normally we’re all about pointing out the striking similarities between a baby and unusual figures like a zombie, Godzilla, a redneck, etc. But today we’re taking a look earlier, before a baby is even born. A pregnant woman. And Santa Claus.

We know it’s fantasy. How can one person do so many things, at the same time in so many places, all for the good of others? Wait. We’re talking about Santa or moms here? EXACTLY! You see?

Whichever way you look at it, this comparison just seems totally spot on. There are too many commonalities to list in this Instructional Diagram, it just goes on and on. Feel free to contribute your own in the comments below with a shared attribute we missed.

So, there you have it. We’re not exactly sure what we have, but there it is! In closing, I guess we have to ask the age-old question: Do you believe in moms?

Happy Holidays!

* For Santa haters: it’s all good, that’s your choice. But you get the idea here right? Just a symbol of a beloved, hardworking character. However, if this is about you hating pregnant women and moms, you can pretty much just go suck on a bag of rusty nails, you jerk. No happy holidays for you!

 

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56 Comments

  • Monica says:
    at 7:00 am

    First thought when I saw the pic was how creepy the eyes look on both Santa and the Pregnant Woman. I love the concept of this one but I got to say that I don’t agree with the “Belly like a bowl full of Jelly” only because while I was pregnant, there was no jelly. My belly was solid and did not move. That’s why it’s so hard to get off a couch or tie a shoe. The belly doesn’t move at all.

    That being said, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how you made this for Christmas! Excellent Job and please keep them coming. The General Attributes is the funniest part, especially the last 2. I can not stop laughing. Thanks.

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 12:10 pm

      Yeah, the I saw that about the eyes. I was working with it larger and it looks much more… less creepy. But when it’s downsized it looked a little like one of those horror movies where they’re eyes go all white. Try viewing it larger. Glad you liked it, despite the slight “staring into your soul to discern your deepest darkest fears” stare.

      Reply
      • Monica says:
        at 12:24 pm

        I just figured you wanted to keep a little of the Zombie vs. Baby thing going with the eyes. Haha They made me laugh and then scared the hell out me all at the same time. (I am not hating on the pic at all – I love you guys it was just an observation).

        Reply
        • andy says:
          at 12:46 pm

          Totally. They’d look better in color. But then we would have the problem of me being unable to produce any more of them because I would either die from sleep deprivation or kill myself from it. Ha ha!

          Reply
  • PammyH says:
    at 8:41 am

    At 7 months pregnant, my belly moves like jelly! Well, to be fair, it’s the kid moving, but there is definitely shaking going on. If only I were so jolly. Or could still fit down a fireplace.

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 12:12 pm

      Soon. Soon, it will be Christmas and soon enough you’ll be jolly and hopping down fireplaces with a little one. Merry Congratulationsmas!

      Reply
  • jetts31 says:
    at 9:47 am

    Total genius but you guys are just asking for hate mail.

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 12:12 pm

      Really??? How so? From Santa haters?

      Reply
      • jetts31 says:
        at 12:30 pm

        From pregnant women taking offense to the belly like jelly. Didn’t you guys get angry mail about baby sleep positions? People have a tendency to take things out of context.

        Reply
        • Manda says:
          at 1:40 pm

          Meh. If you can’t keep a sense of humor during pregnancy, you’ll never survive parenthood.

          Reply
          • Manda says:
            at 1:42 pm

            General *you* not, You, specifically.

          • andy says:
            at 2:07 pm

            To say that what you said is true is a massive understatement. Top of the list in the mythological Manual for Being a Parent. 🙂

          • jetts31 says:
            at 2:13 pm

            Yes, “you” as a group, not “you” as in you.

          • Hannah says:
            at 7:35 am

            SO true.

        • andy says:
          at 2:09 pm

          So far they’re loving the stuffing out of it. It’s meant to be complimentary. They don’t seem to mind being likened to a fat, old, bearded man. 😉

          Reply
  • Elizabeth says:
    at 9:56 am

    LOVE it! Especially the part about fitting presents through impossibly small openings!!

    Merry Christmas to you guys! You have brought many a giggle from me since I found you blog!! Happy 2012

    Reply
  • Julia McAllister says:
    at 9:59 am

    Fits presents through impossibly small openings! Bahaha. Truth. Total truth.

    I wonder if Santa’s emotions go crazy after Christmas is over too. Post-Christmas Depression. PCD.

    A couple attributes:

    Grows hair out of everywhere.
    Requires “Little” helpers to get out and in of low sitting positions and tight spaces.
    Does not need any advice on preparing gifts for the special occasion! 🙂

    Reply
  • Emily says:
    at 10:02 am

    No hate here – and I just got done being pregnant, so, I feel like I could still hate on something like this if there was a need… I think it’s genius. Yeah, I actually thought the same thing about the bowl full of jelly thing (that’s more after the “present” comes out I guess), but otherwise, spot on. Love it!

    Reply
  • Goodhusbanding.com says:
    at 10:16 am

    I love it…except the typo…Looking is missing the “n”..

    …oh, and I almost pee’d my pants at the small openings bit!

    Reply
  • Daisy says:
    at 10:34 am

    Spends the best part of a year preparing for one short burst of extremely hard labour to achieve something that seems physically impossible … does that basically sum it up?!

    Reply
  • Stephanie K. says:
    at 1:53 pm

    Omg the last of the attributes is great!! Haha!

    So what you’re saying is that mothers are as awesome as Santa? Meaning I’M as awesome as Santa? I can work with that 🙂

    Reply
  • Santa Claus says:
    at 2:16 pm

    Ho ho ho holy sh*t, kiddies! What’s all this talk about women possibly being offended by this comparison? What about ME??? Just kidding. Ho ho ho! I’ve always been comfortable with my feminine side, so this is just one big chocolate cookie of a post for me.

    Charlie and Andy, you hit the top of the Nice list with this one. No coal for you guys this year. Like last year.

    HO HO HO! Meeeeerry Christmas!

    -St. Nick *<[]:-{)>

    Reply
  • KymberlyFunFit says:
    at 8:51 pm

    You forgot : both enjoy snacks being made and left out for them. Also what about when Santa says ho ho ho — does he pee his red pants the way a hard laughing mama would? Inquisitive minds want to know. Meantime LMAO

    Reply
  • Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) says:
    at 10:12 pm

    Oh but pregnant woman gets to lose that bowl full of jelly! Santa doesn’t seem to want to take the necessary steps to ditch his!

    Reply
    • Christina says:
      at 1:06 pm

      I was thinking about this and really, no surprise Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly! What with the requisite 3.7 billion bites of cookies and the 3.7 billion sips of milk! All in one night!!! o.O

      Reply
  • jennifer says:
    at 6:55 am

    “keeps track of people who are naughty to them”… oh yeah, i think i was the MASTER of that during my pregnancy. i definitely kept a naughty and nice list. and i think i still have it? i also agree with the “enjoys people making snacks for them, and then eating them” idea. one of my fave pregnancy pasttimes. um, actually still one of my fave pasttimes. doh!
    funny post guys! thanks 🙂

    Reply
  • CatZilla says:
    at 7:04 am

    At 7 months preggers with my first, I can attest to the belly of jelly. Squirmy, wiggly, doing flips n’ sh*t jelly. This is most certainly my favorite Vs. post yet!! 🙂 Must share with the hubs.

    Reply
  • Allicia says:
    at 9:50 am

    I love this so much I printed it out! My belly does love cookies. Get on my naughty list and you’d better watch out!

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 1:16 pm

      Wow. That’s awesome! About the printout, not the Naughty Side part. (blush)

      Reply
  • Kiasa says:
    at 11:03 am

    This is hilarious! If only I had elves helping me prepare for my big day and got to be pulled in a sleigh everywhere. That would have been grand!

    Reply
  • Christina says:
    at 1:08 pm

    My belly has stopped moving like jelly…just occasionally the hard knob moving from one side to the other…

    However, I <3 it. Especially being 9 months pregnant and expecting to pop any week / day now!

    Like everyone else, I liked the General Attributes the best =D

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 1:18 pm

      Belly more like the bowl and less like the jelly in it now? Yeah, those bellies get pretty flippin’ firm. Wow! So close! YAY!

      Reply
  • OurGrowingGarden says:
    at 11:13 pm

    This is hilarious! posting tomw and linking back here!

    Reply
  • Katie says:
    at 7:17 am

    WISH my belly felt like jelly!! Feels more like a big boulder that I have no choice but to carry around on my very short body!! Ugh! I wonder, does Santa get killer heartburn & indigestion too?? LOVE the post.. I needed a good laugh! Thx 🙂

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 11:25 am

      Ha ha ha ha! Sorry if the heartburn aggravated any heartburn you may have been experiencing. 😉

      Reply
  • Heather says:
    at 8:18 am

    Two Christmases ago I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. My belly sure shook like a bowlful of jelly! I remember watching Lampoons Christmas Vacation while holding my hot cocoa on the shelf of my belly. I started giggling, and that belly started shaking… I spilled hot chocolate all over myself before I could get to my feet and set down my mug. I even posted the bowlful of jelly comment on facebook! Great read!

    Reply
    • andy says:
      at 11:36 am

      Ha ha! The Belly Shelf! I remember that one. But oh god to your story! Yikabees!

      Glad you liked. 😉

      Reply
  • In-between and peachy says:
    at 12:03 pm

    […] And since we’re on the subject of comparing pregnant ladies to fat men, I thought I’d end on this funny from How to be a Dad: […]

    Reply
  • Ralok says:
    at 6:13 pm

    pregnant woman wins, sorry santa but you will never be as beautiful as a pregnant woman

    Reply
    • Andy says:
      at 2:21 pm

      You’ve got my vote too on that decision. Pregnant woman for the win.

      Reply
  • Melanie says:
    at 5:27 am

    I never realised it before but yep very true. And instead of holding your tummy and going Ho Ho Ho, you hold your tummy and say oh oh oh! Sort of a backwards Santa really. lol

    Reply
  • Raquel Roberts says:
    at 5:29 pm

    An unusual amount of facial hair.

    Reply

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