Bad Product Idea #9: KiddleProd Child Motivation Enhancement Utility
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Are you tired of how many times you have to ask your child to do or stop doing something, keeping exact count of how many times so they can’t turn around and correct you when you give an inexact guesstimate of how many times you’ve already asked? Are you frustrated by how often you fail to redirect them as needed when they’re already in the middle of something else, like playing, or willfully destroying your house and all its contents, including any brothers or sisters?
You must understand some basic physics. Kids are like Newton’s first law of motion (The Law of Inertia):
An object that’s sitting on its ass tends to stay at rest and an object that’s spazzing out tends to stay in motion.
Parents can have as much trouble controlling their kids as they would trying to violate any other law of physics. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You don’t tear your hair out about not being able to ignore gravity, do you?
Have hope! In the wonderful world of physics, children also have a natural enemy. STATIC ELECTRICITY!
But you don’t have to scrub your head with a balloon, or run out to the park to do a few speed rounds on a fiberglass slide. Introducing the KiddleProd! A never-before-seen, portable, battery-powered, child motivation enhancement utility.
Consider it a life-like extension of your own hand, except that now your “hand” can deliver a static zap at the touch of a button. Shazam! And with its new extend-o-matic fold-out attatchment, it’s now an extension of your arm, for those kids who get into those hard to reach places.
You love your kids, sure, and no, they’re not cattle, but parenting sure can be like herding cats! For those times, there’s KiddleProd.
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Pocket Guide to a Child’s Tracks and Movement Patterns
Kids are not animals, but we can still learn how to track them by their footprints.
So Bad They’re Good
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