Top 2 Reasons You Don’t Have Nice Things Anymore…
Years ago I bought a leather executive chair that was blonde-colored. Within a week, Cody (at age 6!) wrote Xuck on it (he missed the top line in the F). He used permanent marker and scrawled it in large letters on the broad expanse of the chair’s back. Amid feeling super bummed and being totally confused about how he could have even known that word, let alone write it, when it was never said around him and he could only just barely spell his own name, a small part of me was proud. A VERY small part of me.
You see, it’s not just that your “nice things” get ruined. Yes, that’s the biggest factor, but it’s also the nice things you DON’T buy any more as a sort of preemptive defense tactic against the “fun-spiritedness and creativity” of a kid or the “natural instincts” of a pet that basically amount to the systematic destruction of everything you possess.
Here’s an example. My wife and I are out shopping. I say, “Hmmmmmm-no. Let’s get the cheaper one.” She reassures me we can afford the better, more expensive one, no problem. I turn to her and say intensely, “Look. I will not be able to withstand discovering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich crammed into this really nice DVD player. Let’s get the cheaper one.” We got the cheaper one.
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Instructional Diagrams
We’ve lost count of how many beverage nasal sprays and woken up babies all the laughter at these has caused.