Bad Product Idea #13: The Mommequin
Kids never leave you alone when they’re yours. If you want alone-time, you’re really fighting a ridiculously losing battle. But now they don’t have to leave “you” alone. What if you could be present when you just really need to be absent? Now you can! With the purchase and set up a life-sized robotic figure, customized with your likeness, that they can pester be distracted by, while you enjoy things like [insert anything here].
Imagine the possibilities…
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- Catch up on a favorite show or game without interruption.
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- Talk on the phone without a single “hang on a sec…”
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- Cook or clean or vegetate without someone underfoot making a mess right behind you.
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- Shower long enough to wash your hair.
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- Poop alone.
For new or prospective parents, there will be a point when you realize that privacy and solitude are simply wax under the nuclear flamethrower of parenthood. It will quickly sink in that babysitting is much easier said than done. It’s possible you may even begin noticing some indications that you’re not gonna win anything made of gold in the Best Parent category. Well, since there isn’t a way to create and manufacture a highly-profitable robotic product that commercializes improved parenting, here’s a product that at least helps make even bad parenting easier. If that’s what you’re into. Hey! Pooping alone is pretty sweet when you haven’t done it for two or infinity years.
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Remember that these are not real products and therefore can not be really be sued.