Maximumble: Sex Ed Astronomy

FROM THE ARTIST, CHRIS HALLBECK:
“I remember my mom telling me “The mommy and daddy kiss and he has a little squirt gun that shoots into her body.” I imagined a green plastic squirt gun in the back of his throat that squirted into her mouth and then went down to her belly where it grew into a baby.

I was maybe 4 years old when she told me that and it satisfied my curiosity for years. Then in 5th grade they separated the boys and girls into different rooms and showed us “the film”. It then slowly dawned on me that my mom had kinda glossed over a few details.”

““

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5 Comments

JamesT says:

at 10:54 am

My mother decided to not hold anything back. I learned about the birds the bees and everything in between. In hindsight I wish she’d have just lied.

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Nichole says:

at 10:58 am

OMG, a special squirt gun! I think I am a little traumatized LOL

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Amy says:

at 10:49 am

My two older kids know that sperm fertilizes the egg and develops into a baby. They watched all the development videos on babycenter with me when I was pregnant with my youngest. They just don’t know how the sperm gets into the mommy’s body yet. 🙂 I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to tell them that when they ask those questions.

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Justin Knight says:

at 12:35 pm

A special squirt gun? Now that the Missus and I can’t spell things out in front of our son anymore (he had the nerve to learn to spell), I think I just discovered the euphemism that has been missing from our “adult” conversations. For that, I thank you.

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A-M says:

at 3:07 am

My mother (when I was 6 and she’d just had a baby) said that the mum has an egg inside her, and the dad has a special tadpole which swims to the egg (you have to do special swimming actions at this point) and makes a baby. No mention of how the tadpole got into mum but I never questioned it. It tallied in well enough with what I eventually learned in science classes and didn’t seem as outrageously dumb as storks and cabbage patches and fairy dust. I did worry about the unintended consequences of touching tadpoles for a while though!

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