Dear Finn,

Let me tell you the story of your life. Know that there will be exceptions, but this is the grand accounting of your human journey.

You were born to two loving parents and these parents were afraid they would break you. They drove slowly coming home and lost a good deal of sleep wondering whether you were still breathing. Your dad, particularly, would hover over your crib to watch your chest move.

Then, as you grew older you learned words, how to walk, how to eat and many other fun, little things that small children figure out. You made little faces and began to notice that you could bend your parents to your will.

Soon enough you had your own personality, tastes and preferences. You imposed your own sense of the world, to the degree you understood it, on the people around you and that complicated things for your parents. But that is the way we all learn — we grow through the confrontation of differences. You began to exercise your developing sensibilities, even in times when it wasn’t helpful, to show you could push the boundaries.

Time passed, and Finn your empathy and compassion deepened. You experienced sadness and friendship together with your father. You ate and grew, still more. Everything you experienced, was also your parents’ by proxy. They were surprised by how fast it all moved, though it felt infinite in the moment. They wished you would never grow up, but felt proud of the person you were becoming.

Suddenly, you wanted to be with your friends more than your family. Life became a journey of discovery. Failure and triumph were the notes on the staff in the symphony of your life. The tempo quickened and slowed. You questioned yourself, and found confidence. You asked for help, tried to do things on your own, and kept secrets. Your father was there for your victories and losses. Your mother cheered you on.

You found people you love, people who sought to nullify you, and people that fell somewhere in between. Your name and your mortality became increasingly important to you. You thought more about the passage of time, and the distance between you and others. You yearned for good days, and recounted the bad ones.

But within and beyond all of this there were parents who loved and fought for you. They questioned most of their decisions and actions, routinely. They tried to act out of that same love at every turn, using their own lives were bridges for you to cross as you made your own.

Their help was yours, and in turn, they hoped yours would be for others.

I love you my brave boy.

From the future and in the past,
Your Dad