If Thanksgiving only lasts a day for you, you didn’t make enough food and you are a monster. With refrigeration and proper storage, it really should be Thanksgiving Week.

Maybe it’s not pie you go bonkers for, it could just as well be a completely bone-littered turkey platter, or a clean-scraped bowl of marshmallow yams, or even a fully-capsized gravy boat (no judgement, gravy chuggers).

It’s Thanksgiving! Don’t scrimp out! Show proper appreciation for pilgrims and Native Americans getting their nom on together (before all the really bad stuff happened); or for subsequent farmers keeping us alive with the bounty of the harvest; or for Football or freedom or whatever it is that best serves as an excuse for pumping yourself full of four thankfilled meals in a single thankbursting sitting!

Thankfully (pun intended but regretted) most of us have starvation under control, so we can extend the celebration of the thanks we give to beloved things like our family and friends and iPhones and favorite pairs of jeans.

Whatever you give thanks for this year, we wanted you to know that we give thanks for you, our readers!

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Andy & Charlie

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A Funny Warning for Thanksgiving
Peril is everywhere. Don’t have a Perilgivings Day.

A Hilarious Video Guide to Holiday Etiquette
The narrator has a unidentifiable foreign accent, so it’s gotta be legit, right?