[ Click for a printable .pdf ]

Your patience wasn’t tested, it was napalmed. But you didn’t blow your top, even if you didn’t quite “keep your cool.” Whether it was because of your kid, your significant other, your boss or whoever, you made it though a day that wasn’t just awful, it was what comes several levels south of awful.

You may have used up all but your very last nerve, but you didn’t have a screaming, swing-from-the-curtains meltdown. Sure, you might have had a boiling vat of fury in your belly and almost broke your teeth from clenching them so hard, but you didn’t. So smile! You made it through and didn’t die or take anyone else’s life, either. From me to you, well f*cking done.

People get medals, trophies and awards all the time for things that cannot even compare to some of the more horrific moments of being a living, breathing human being. I don’t think that’s fair. And since life, like a chronically overflowing toilet, is often well loaded with the floating turds of unfairness, I decided to right this wrong. To fill this swirling void with an anti-turd.

Use this for yourself or for another. Print it out, frame it and give it to whoever’s earned it, or just nail it to the f*cking wall when you need to. Use it as wrapping paper for a good bottle of wine. Hell, print out a crapton and wallpaper the place with it.

You deserve it. Today, you didn’t lose your sh*t.
 

P.S. Feel free to email me pics of your “certification ceremony.” Because if you don’t, it’s almost like it didn’t happen. Just email andy@(our website address)

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More Crazy?
You bet. This isn’t temporary, it’s a chronic condition.