When expectant parents get a regular ol’ (non-3D) ultrasound, they can’t wait to see their little mini-me, but they don’t always expect to see an antique, black-and-white silent film of Skeletor as a baby, snuggling in a backpack.

No one seriously says, “Awwwww, he’s got your spine, honey.” Or “Wow just LOOK at that pelvis!” So, it seems that our procreational pride or concern for a happy, healthy boy or girl must trump all the weirdness of staring inside a tiny body that’s inside another body (and then sharing it on Facebook).

You’d imagine that upgrading to a 3D ultrasound would improve the cinematic quality of the sneak preview and make it a bit less “horror film meets medical documentary,” but I’ve nearly ruined my pants laughing at some descriptions of 3D ultrasounds looking like…

…Voldemort in a garbage bag.

…an over-filtered Instagram of chewed gum.

…a potato floating in sangria.

…a box of Peeps left in the trunk all summer.

…a Beluga whale caught in a sewage line.

 
These may seem a bit harsh, but you have to admit it’s a little funny that they’re also all fairly-to-totally accurate descriptions of what some 3D snapshots can look like.

Let’s have a look at some hilarious and oddball ultrasounds with some captions for added fun, shall we? Why yes, we shall!
 

Thanks, Miley Cyrus.

Find out the sex they said, it’ll be cool they said.

“Lemme tells yous, you shoulda hoyd dat faht from in he’e!”

Aaaaaaaand they’re already fighting.

Good news: he’s smiling. Bad news: he looks like Willem Dafoe smiling.

“This place could really use a bigger window, maybe even a skylight.”

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, you’re having a demon.

Practicing rejecting all the food his parents will make. “Pleh.”

Unsure if it’s a boy or girl but I’m very sure it’s an ancient pharaoh.

“Got my own nose!” (Don’t judge, it gets boring in there.)

He can see your soul. And he’s hungry.

Evading the prenatal paparazzi like a pro.

Of course, this isn’t to say that babies aren’t little Adorbzillas, well… most of them. C’mon. We’ve all seen THAT baby. But if you want to know what they’ll look like, wait until they come out.

I think we can all agree that an x-ray of our skull isn’t our best headshot. Ultrasounds are often pictures only a parent can love (or terrify them that their baby is a tiny, deformed Stay Puft Marshmallow Man).

Technology is always churning out better sequels, sure, but recently a friend showed me “the latest and greatest” in high-tech fetus portraiture, and while it was much improved from the freaky Magic Sand sculptures I’d seen, he still had to explain that his unborn son’s arm wasn’t growing through his head. He was beaming even as he explained this, of course.

““

Follow us on Facebook. We won’t post any pictures of our kids skeletal structures there.

Less-Creepy Funny Pictures
None of these pictures were made using an ultrasound machine.