Everyone has their varying candy preferences, but sizing up what’s been plopped into the bag is a pretty universal part of Halloween.

However grateful and well-mannered they are, it’s impossible for trick-or-treaters to avoid casting some judgement on the treat-giver-outers they encounter.

You see, parents don’t often let kids eat the entire bag in one sitting, so kids have to prioritize what they’ll eat first (or sneak-eat between houses, under the cover of darkness). Valuations need to be made for some potentially cutthroat trading later. And then there’s the parent tax, though this is usually easy since adults crave a lot of candy kids would rather use as a skipping stone than eat.

There’s a lot of complexity to it all. This is really serious stuff, man! I mean… for kids. (ehem) Heh.
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You can’t really go wrong. If kids don’t like Smarties, they can always swap them with a friend that likes to chew on sidewalk chalk. Okay wait, maybe the Partypooper “treats” are a way to definitely go wrong. Just turn off your porch light and lock your door if you hate kids and tooth decay so much.

Have a Happy Halloween! And remember to tell your kids about a hundred times to remember to say “thank you.”

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